Wow, it has been a long time since I posted! I really enjoyed the comments people left here after my last post as well as all of the emails that came from it! I like hearing others points of view and learning about how others tick.
Anyway, over spring break we went to my parents house. They live way out in the middle of nowhere. We let the girls each bring a friend with them. We took our 4-wheelers out there with us as well. Between our two 4-wheelers, my dad's 4-wheeler, my dad's little circus bicycle, my mom's 3-wheel bicycle, and my mom's all terrain golf-cart - the girls were riding something continuously. I will post some pictures later. Some of them are quite hilarious.
J, my oldest daughter, finally got her MRI. Guess what? She has a stress fracture in her right tibia. What fun. The doc said to try to rest it and quit trying to "work through the pain" so much. What is funny is that she is leaving on Monday for a school trip near a beach where they will be participating in many tours as well as a scavenger hunt through the town. She gets back from there on Wednesday evening. School on Thursday. Then, on Friday, a school trip to a theme park (physics lessons in a fun setting.) So, I'm not seeing much rest coming to that tired little tibia.
She is rethinking her goals for gymnastics. She doesn't think she can get to the level needed for a college scholarship in time. This has always been her goal, so it is a little hard to see her struggling right now. She has had a tough year with competing a dual season and having some injuries. She is feeling kinda down right now. I'm hoping that since competition season is almost over - one more meet - she will get time to regroup and refocus. She loves gymnastics so much and she does not want to lose it. I told her that she does not have to get a college scholarship to be a considered a successful gymnast. Very few girls get to that level. However, many compete in the "amateur" side and do very well. She is debating on if she wants to just stay in the USAG side and just get as far as she can, or if she wants to stay in the AAU rec side of it. The skills are pretty much the same, but the judging is a little more lenient in the AAU side. Also, if she stayed in USA, there are 4 levels left to compete. In AAU, she is in the highest level there is (I believe.) She could add harder skills in AAU as she learned them, but would never move up a level. It is so much to think about.
M, my youngest daughter, will be trying out for team in a couple of weeks. She is very nervous about tryouts and the thought of competing. However, she has seen the myriad of benefits that have come to her sister from it; strong body, determination, endurance, prioritization, and most of all, an extremely strong bond with other girls that become like family.
Speaking of my girls, they both participated in something besides gymnastics this year!! :-) J. is in a Christian drama group in her school. This morning, they performed for the kindergartners.
M. participated on a web-design team and they just submitted their site to be judged. This morning, the web-design team was spotlighted at the elementary morning assembly. The web-design teacher called me this morning to tell us about it. She was going on a field trip with the kids in a different grade and could not be at the assembly. She asked if M. would mind getting up at the assembly and telling the elementary what their site was about, etc. She said that M. was such a leader on the team that she wanted her to get up and be the spokesperson! I was so proud! Interestingly enough, both girls were on two different stages on campus at the exact same time.
Even though things have been really stressful for all of us this first week back to school, I have enjoyed watching my girls rise to whatever occasion occurred. They are maturing so quickly that I often get tears in my eyes. Sometimes the tears are from watching them have to struggle with hard decisions, quick changes in plans, and being disappointed. Other times, though, the tears are from joy in the way they are handling these situations as well as seeing what kind of person they are developing into.
I am such a hands-on type mom that it is a little hard sometimes to see that they (especially my teenager) are getting to where they don't NEED me quite as much. I enjoy the difference in the relationships that comes from a desire to be with me rather than the utter dependence. It has left me feeling a little bereft at times though. I know that they will always need me - but it is just in a different way now. It is more of a guidance role now rather than a director. I like being the director. I like the control. :-) I know, though, that if a relationship stays with that dynamic, there is really no growth and no reward for either party. I'm doing my best to accept it and go on.
So, those of you with kids that are older, let me know how this process evolved with you. Those of you with kids that are younger, you are free to tell me that I am a psycho and that I need therapy. ;-)
Pics will be posted soon.
2 comments:
You're a psycho and you need therapy, but it has nothing to do with your relationship with your kids! :-)
Letting go is hard, especially when caregiving has been your primary role. But you have to learn to understand that your triumph is in having raised children who can function on their own. The goal of a parent is to raise your children to be independent adults.
Having seen mine go off to college this year, I have to tell you that, as much as you miss them, there is a great joy that comes from seeing them make good choices without you (often better choices than you made). It's also nice to realize that you are becoming friends and have a wonderful new relationship ahead of you.
Of course, all that sentimental stuff isn't much help when the kids are away and you're depressed. The trick then is hobbies. Find something to do to distract yourself. Can I send you a sudoku book?
Pam, I check in every day to see if you have a new entry. I guess I don't leave a comment each time because I figure the world wants to hear what YOU have to say, not me. But I just read your guest book entry to Sarah Smith and Becky, and thought I would write and tell you that you ARE being read. You only have a few entries, so, just give it time and it will grow!
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