This is probably the strangest and most useless blog entry that has ever been posted. As a matter of fact you may want to stop reading now, because what follows is quite disturbing.
Let me set the stage. For those of you that know me, you know that I have a LOT of hair. I also have a lot of weird issues. One of my weird issues is my wet hair touching me. So, the other day after my shower, I was blow-drying the ends of my hair so that it would not drip on me (I am cringing just typing it – ewwww.) Anyway, I was leaning far to one side so that all of my hair was hanging down in the air and not on my back. I then leaned a little forward. While blow-drying my hair, I happened to look in the mirror and noticed something quite strange and frankly downright frightening. I noticed that gravity was not my friend.
My face looked quite strange. It actually looked like it was melting. I was leaning to the left while using the dryer. The left side of my face looked like it was stretched realllllly far and the right side of my face was all bunched up at my eye. After I got over the sheer terror of realizing that was MY face, I became interested to see what would happen as I moved around. Unfortunately, I discovered that it was not just that one position. As I leaned further over and forward and backward, my face continued to morph into unrecognizability.
I knew that as you aged, your skin lost elasticity and have even noticed it around my eyes. However, NOTHING could have prepared me for what just happened. I am still in my 30’s! Not by much, but I am holding on to the 30’s with dear life. I forget quite often how old I am. I don’t think I will forget any more, though, as that image is indelibly etched in my brain.
I am still going back and forth between being mortified and morbidly fascinated. I keep finding myself in front of the mirror leaning over in different ways.
Now, I am going to be curious as to which of you go and try this when no one is looking. Let me know if you discover strange contortions of your face. If you try it and nothing changes in your face – well then PHHHHTTT. Just kidding, it will happen soon enough.
You may wonder why in the world I posted something like this. My reasons are two fold – one, it gives everyone fodder for teasing me with, as if you needed more ammunition. Two, it gave me a chance to use my new Mac book and see how well it works with blogger.
Thanks for reading this absolutely pointless entry.
10 comments:
I am laughing hysterically at this picture! I won't even go into my experiences in front of the mirror recently, except to say that we finally bought a full length mirror. (Now, I'm shuddering...)
Outstanding, Pam!! ...outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day... (II Cor 4: 16)
Heh. I won't even TELL you what happens when you're hanging on to your 40's for dear life, my friend. You will be WISHING for the days when it was just your face that morphed. Truly, these "tents" are temporary dwelling places (and I'm beginning to think that the warranty expired on mine, and that perhaps inspector #13 didn't do such a good job of ensuring that everything was up to standards.. but I digress). That was totally hilarious.. or HAIRlarious, if you will. Hair phobia.. of your own hair.. that's a new one, and one of the few things we don't have in common! Your hair is just gorgeous; I wonder if the fact that you never allow it to touch your skin has anything to do with that?
btw.. if you should meet Carol Stroud at GAC (her son is in middle school.. his name is Wilson Stroud), Carol and I attended the same church in Hermitage, TN from probably 2nd grade through high school. We just connected via Facebook and I found out her son goes to GAC. If you meet her, please give her a hug for me!
oh.. and here's a ((((hug)))) for you!
Pam:
You have a wonderful sense of humor. Perhaps if you didn't then this blog might have been boring and pointless. But, since your sweet honesty and wonderful way of weaving a moment together to make it entertaining and fresh...well, that makes what you said a delightful read. I am sure I am just one of many who appreciate that you decided to share.
As an aside--and perhaps rather indelicate, so beware (I know it's a departure from my usual writing)--many years ago (because I am OLD as dirt, thank you God), the "girls" at the break table at work were having a discussion about, what else, S-E-X. (That seems to be workplace fodder for some reason...I wonder what people who have sex for a living talk about on break?) Anyway, I digress.
So, the topic, um, broadens to include "positions." One woman decided to share that she preferred to be in the (man, this really is indelicate) "top" position, at which point another woman chimed in to say in horror, "Are you kidding??? Have you ever bent over a mirror to see what happens to your face? It gets all distorted. Do that and you'll never want to be on top again."
Being ever the journalist, I never engaged in these conversations, but rather observed and/or commented. So I shared nothing. But, like the rest of the women at the table, I made a mental note...Note to self: Remember to look in the hand-held magnifying mirror when you get home.
We all reported back the next day, gathered around the break table, looking straight ahead while trying to eat our food and drink our drinks without bending our heads forward the least little bit.
I vowed then that no donut, no almond crescent, no BLT would ever see me again from a top/down, over/under perspective.
Welcome to the wonderful world of Mac and the less wonderful world of middle-age!
Wait until 50 hits ya...LOL Loved the post today!
God Bless~
Debbie Jean
I'm totally trying this.
But I LOVE pointless entries. I write them all the time!! :-)
Frankly, I have not yet tried this particular exercise but I will certainly give it a whirl today and see what alarming sight greets me from the mirror. Since I'm many years older than you, it should be quite a sight!
Thanks for the entertaining, "pointless" entry.
Becky
caringbridge.org/nc/sarahsmith
Helloooooooo??? Anybody there?
Miss your posts.
As we shoot very rapidly past the very young age there are many, many surprises, some one could say are shocks more than anything else. Some are rather nightmarish. I cant believe how they creep up on us. I very well remember waking one morning , looking in the mirror and asking, Who are you?
Believe it or not though there are a few good things we discover as time goes on.
I loved your article. Sounds so familiar. Thanks for sharing. M
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