I have decided that I need a tear duct transplant, mine are obviously defective. They leak all of the time, when I’m happy, when I’m sad, when I’m angry, when I’m frustrated, etc. It seems to be my default response, and frankly, I’m tired of it.
Lest you think I am exaggerating, let me tell you about the strange things that I have cried about in the last week:
1) I was talking with a friend who was concerned about some struggles their child was having. She started crying. So, I cried because she was crying.
2) I was talking with a teacher friend at school about a mutual child we were concerned about. I cried because he showed empathy and concern.
3) My mom’s closest sister is not doing well. I cried because she was sick, I cried because my mom was sad, AND I cried because my mom pulled on some crazy inner strength and was dealing with it very well.
4) The strangest – I cried because I saw a young lady, around 18 – 22 years old, walking with an elderly lady holding on to her arm, going into QuikTrip gas station. We walked in behind these women and stood close to them at the Slushie area. The young lady proceeded to read each and every flavor to the older lady, telling her the ingredients in each, as well as explaining what each different machine did; made drinks, icees, shakes, smoothies, coffee, etc. She let her pick out what she wanted and made it for her. As we stood next to each other getting lids, I told the young lady that seeing them together was one of the most heartwarming things I had seen. She thanked me and told me it was her great aunt. I then proceeded to tell her that she looked just like my aunt (see above) that was not doing so good. This girl then proceeded to tell me that she was so sorry and then gave me a hug. As soon as that happened, I started crying all over her. Of course, my children pick this exact time to come around the corner and see their overly emotional mom wrapped in the arms of a complete stranger and crying on her. The girls, knowing me the way that they do, just waited until we were done and we left. You know that you cry too much when something like this doesn’t even faze your children. J
So, while some of these were normal things to cry about, the QuikTrip thing is just ridiculous.
While I know some of you will say that this just means that I care about people, I seriously still think that I have got to get it under control. It is hard to ever deal with anything when all you can do is stand there and blubber. Imagine you wanting to confront someone who has been disrespectful to your children. How effective can you be while crying? Have you ever tried to be professional while crying? It doesn’t work.
Any suggestions on how to “toughen up?” Or at least enough to contain my crying until I am in a more appropriate place?
On another note, a couple of weeks ago, we sung this song at church:
I have heard this song before, but it never grabbed me until we sung it at church. We sing acapella (without instruments) at our church, and to me, that makes the songs much more powerful. It is just a room full of people singing with nothing else to focus on except the words. I personally like to close my eyes when we sing because then it feels like it is just me and God.
I encourage you to listen to this song and really pay attention to the words.
Oh, guess what I did when we sung it at church?
I cried. Big shocker there, huh?
Sign the guestbook and let me know you were here. If I don’t get a lot of signatures, I may just cry. Of course, if I get a lot of signatures, I will definitely cry. So, I will probably end up crying no matter what you do, but you can at least make it a happy cry. J
10 comments:
Hello Pam!! I visited, and guess what I did when I read this? I CRIED! NO, Im not kidding. Its not funny!! I get very emotional also (ALOT) and I cant figure out why either!! Hoping u will take comfort knowing u r not the only one!
Well mamasita geuss what? Today at the pharmacy, I was picking up a very expensive prescription and the pharmacist michelle said, Martha this is so very expensive, I will just give you a few or whatever but that is just way too much money. I said, well thit is alright, I will go ahead since I ordered it. She said to me, I am going to half these and you just get a few. I started letting the tears roll and said , Please don't be nice tome today, my sister is not well and she is my soul mate. Then she started crying and we were hugging as well. I went on to the other register with my fruit and here she comes again saying , now you keep me posted. I said, Michelle get out of here and I love you.So much for your Mom being strong.
I really think they just put our bladder in our eyes.
Bless you and your girls for carrying your love to my sisters home.
The song is so very undescribable.
Bless you and yours, M
It must be a CofC thing. I cry at everything, including commercials. We had Circle of Prayer at school; all those people holding hands and praying over my child and all of the others; I cried. Pretty much every church service, I cry. Usually because of songs; either the words touch me, or it's something that reminds me of my dad, or SOMETHING. Just remember, Pam.. Jesus wept. So if we're trying to be like Him, I'd say we're doing a pretty good job. :<)
hugs...
Congratulations on your pregnancy!
No?
So sorry to hear you have started menopause.
No?
Your body overfloweth?
Hmmm, getting closer.
You care.
Yeah, that's the one.
Pam,
I think what would be truly terrible is to NOT be able to cry at all. Your tears are springing from a tender heart.
Love,
Becy
I think its genetics or something. I cry about anything and everything. Songs, commercials, real life, cartoons. But like my favorite commenter at the pharmacy, the weirdest thing is that if your having a hard time and someone is nice to you, that's when I want to cry the most. Just simple human decency gets me everytime and just makes the walls you worked so hard to build around yourself and had stood guard at very well up until that point, will melt away like butter in the sun at the first truly kind word or touch of a friend or stranger alike. And there you will find yourself crying in the most awkward and unexpected place, like a pharmacy, or a quicktrip, or your office with a stranger. And while your embarrassed and didn't want it to happen there, that is where it happens, and you will always remember that place, and cherish the memory of a moment when someone cared.
Nikki
"Blessed are those who mourn [weep] for they will be comforted."
(Matthew. 5:4)
Comfort -- com-forte -- "With Strength"
Tell your mom I get it. I get it so much. My heart goes out to her and her sister.
Beijos,
Lydia
I understand--I hate to cry in front of people--and seem to cry easily--touching commercials, sweet scenes out in the world, my six-year-old son pushing a small grocery cart in the store...looking so grown-up and being so helpful...I think part of it is an appreciation for the good things in life. Or a sense of empathy for what is going on. Anyway, for what it's worth--I'll pass the tissues...cause I use enough to own stock. :)
Vicky
Pam,
I know this post is old but....
I'm a cryer too and always have been. I'm a pretty "put-together" person but my emotions seem to be hard wired to my tear ducts. Be it sadness, anger and sometimes for just plain nothing important. The old eye balls start leaking and sometimes its hard to stop. My mom and sister are a little like me as well but I'm not sure to what extent. It can be embarassing sometimes, especially when I think of something at work and I have to hurry and wipe my eyes before someone sees me. I hate that. It's nice to know I'm not alone!
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