Lately, I have been pondering a thought that permeates all elements of my life, I just cannot figure out how to word in a witty and concise way. Maybe some of you can help.
I coach gymnastics in the evenings and we tell our girls that they will never get stronger without conditioning. We relate it to school and any thing else that we can think of to make them understand a little better. Since I coach a younger team, they always look to the big girls and want to do what they are doing. We tell them that if their arms are not strong enough to do a pull up and a push up, then they will not be strong enough to support them in a back handspring.
I have caught myself using this thought process in other parts of my life as well. If you want to improve at anything, you must, at some point, become uncomfortable. If you want to become a black belt at martial arts, you are going to have to work through the other belts first. You will have to get some bruises in order to learn how to block. In order to learn how to dive, you will have to learn how to drive your heels up and hold your body tight. You will go through several belly flops before you become strong enough to dive correctly.
In other words, you are perfectly prepared to do exactly what you are doing right now, but nothing else.
I had the chance this last week to reaaaaaalllllllly step out of my comfort zone. I had a casual friend that was in kidney failure. I went through the testing and ended up being a good enough match to be able to donate. On Friday, my friend went from kidney failure to having normal kidney function numbers. I am so so happy for him. Everyone is making a big deal about me donating the kidney, but to me, that was not the hard part. The hard part to me is the down time, not the surgery itself. I do not like being "weak." I do not like having to depend on others. Giving up a physical part is not hard, the vulnerability that comes with that is the difficult part.
However, if there was no "uncomfortableness," then how would that be serving others? It is easy to be generous if you don't have to go out of your way to do it.
This has been quite the spiritual journey for me. I have always thought of myself as somewhat caring, but have never really had to test it before. I really have had to trust that this is what God wanted me to do, even though it was definitely NOT convenient.
I have seen amazing spiritual growth in my husband as well. I have seen him step really out of his comfort zone and take the other family under his wing as well. He has risen above and beyond anything I have ever witnessed in him before.
My hope through this journey is that I will help myself to remember that God doesn't call the equipped, but equips the called and that he will prepare you for the journey He has for you - although there are no guarantees that the journey will be an easy one. I hope that my kids will learn this lesson in their life as well.
No one wants to push beyond the comfort zone, but that is where the greatest rewards are.
I just hope that I remember this as May rolls around and it is time for the Iron Girl Triathalon that I have signed up for. Anyone want to teach me how to swim?
Showing posts with label ramblings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ramblings. Show all posts
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Blessings of multi-generationalism
I have been very remiss in posting anything lately. Mainly because I got so many awesome comments on my last entry that I knew that I could never come up with another topic that would generate such great feedback.
We just finished up a much enjoyed spring break. It was awesome to not have to work either job for several days in a row. As much as I enjoy both of my jobs, I enjoy my husband and kids more. We went up to the mountains and spent a few days at the cabin. It was warm enough to hike and play in the creek, but cool enough that there were no mosquitos or chiggers or poison ivy yet - perfect weather.
We also had Grandparents Day at school. It is always the last day of school before spring break. There is a special program just for the kids and grandparents, and then the kids get to leave at noon. My hubby and I are blessed that we both adore our inlaws. Our kids are blessed to have 3 full sets of grandparents that all get along with each other.
I have tried to make a point of making sure that my kids appreciate their grandparents. Neither my husband nor myself have any living grandparents - and haven't for a while. It is kind of an empty feeling.
My oldest, J., and I were talking about this while hiking at the cabin. She had a neat way of putting it. She said that you have your friends to be your friends, your parents to be your parents, and your grandparents are like your friendly parents. Friends, parents, and grandparents all fill a different role and meet a different need, and none can fill the space of another. I thought that was a neat way of looking at it.
My grandparents were awesome people and I was so blessed to know them. In a way, they remind me of my children. My oldest daughter, while funny and fun-loving, is a nurturer. She is always careful of others feelings. My maternal grandparents were the same way. My youngest daughter, while a nurturer as well, is very up-front and no-nonsense, the same as my paternal grandparents. While she, and they, would do anything for you, they will also let you know where you stand and did not waste time on stressing about pleasing everyone. I think this is the best mix in the world as they balance perfectly. You need both personalities in your life in order to make your life complete.
I think this is why my husband and I work so well together - we balance each other. If you have two personalities that are completely alike or so completely opposite, you have nothing to use to complete each other.
Well, this was another one of my posts about nothing, so if you are still reading - congrats and thank you.
Please sign the guestbook and let me know you were here.
We just finished up a much enjoyed spring break. It was awesome to not have to work either job for several days in a row. As much as I enjoy both of my jobs, I enjoy my husband and kids more. We went up to the mountains and spent a few days at the cabin. It was warm enough to hike and play in the creek, but cool enough that there were no mosquitos or chiggers or poison ivy yet - perfect weather.
We also had Grandparents Day at school. It is always the last day of school before spring break. There is a special program just for the kids and grandparents, and then the kids get to leave at noon. My hubby and I are blessed that we both adore our inlaws. Our kids are blessed to have 3 full sets of grandparents that all get along with each other.
I have tried to make a point of making sure that my kids appreciate their grandparents. Neither my husband nor myself have any living grandparents - and haven't for a while. It is kind of an empty feeling.
My oldest, J., and I were talking about this while hiking at the cabin. She had a neat way of putting it. She said that you have your friends to be your friends, your parents to be your parents, and your grandparents are like your friendly parents. Friends, parents, and grandparents all fill a different role and meet a different need, and none can fill the space of another. I thought that was a neat way of looking at it.
My grandparents were awesome people and I was so blessed to know them. In a way, they remind me of my children. My oldest daughter, while funny and fun-loving, is a nurturer. She is always careful of others feelings. My maternal grandparents were the same way. My youngest daughter, while a nurturer as well, is very up-front and no-nonsense, the same as my paternal grandparents. While she, and they, would do anything for you, they will also let you know where you stand and did not waste time on stressing about pleasing everyone. I think this is the best mix in the world as they balance perfectly. You need both personalities in your life in order to make your life complete.
I think this is why my husband and I work so well together - we balance each other. If you have two personalities that are completely alike or so completely opposite, you have nothing to use to complete each other.
Well, this was another one of my posts about nothing, so if you are still reading - congrats and thank you.
Please sign the guestbook and let me know you were here.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Would you like me to bubble wrap you?
This is a pretty pointless entry, but I am posting it out of curiosity.
What do you think/feel when someone tells you that they will pray for you? Do you feel thankful, blessed, or comforted? Or do you feel empty, puzzled, or awkward?
Do you really feel like it makes any difference? I mean, everything is in God's hands, right? So, will praying actually do anything? Will it change God's mind? Will it make him mad when you ask for things?
I will tell you my take on it, because, after all, that is why I blog. :-)
I feel like prayer is almost like bubble wrap. Whether prayer changes your circumstances or not, I feel it will at least make things easier to deal with. If you had to fall down a flight of stairs, wouldn't you prefer it to happen while wrapped up in bubble wrap? Will it still hurt? Probably, but maybe not as much.
Let me know your thoughts, please.
Thanks for stopping by.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Never, EVER, assume! AKA - Object lesson
Everyone has heard that you should never assume anything.
I just want to give you quick proof that this is very good advice - in a purely hypothetical setting, of course.
If you assume, that once you and your children get home from dropping one of the vehicles off at a service center, that you can outrun the children to the closest bathroom, you would be wrong.
If you assume that maybe if you bring everything in from the car, that the child that made it to the closest bathroom would be done by the time you got inside, you would be wrong again.
If, when you screech out the words, 'You are still in there?' to the child in the preferred bathroom, you assume that they won't giggle at your predicament, then, you would be wrong.
If, in your panic as you realize that said child is still in the bathroom and that you will not trip running up the stairs to the next closest bathroom, you would, again, be wrong.
If, in the midst of finally getting to go to the restroom and your phone rings and the caller i.d. shows it is the daughter from the preferred bathroom, and you assume it is her calling you to gloat over getting the closest bathroom, you would, believe it or not, be mistaken.
If you ever find yourself in this predicament - please, please do NOT make that final assumption above. Because, chances are, if you answer that phone call and make a comment about 'talking while peeing' because you assumed it was your child on the other end, it could possibly be someone saying that they just found a cell phone and called the contact listed as "mom" in it to hopefully find out who it belonged to. This person could also be calling from the car service center that you just dropped the car off at. The same place you have to go BACK to in a short while.
So, you see, assumption is bad!! Purely hypothetical situation, of course.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
What would your sign say?
Do you ever wish people could wear some kind of sign that gives everyone kind of a heads up on things you need to know about them? Or vice versa?
For example, I often wonder if I walked around with a sign that said, "ADD. OCD. Depression. Low self esteem. Slightly neurotic," if it would make people be more conscientious with their words and actions, or if it would scare them off or make them decide I was not worth getting to know?
What if the signs said only positive things? "Devoted wife and mother. Desire to be Christ-like. Persistent." Would that then make people want to get to know me? Would they be disappointed if they chose to get to know me based on my sign, and then saw all of the "bad" traits later?
What if it were that everyone wore a sign? Would you greet the person with the sign that said "Addict" or "Murderer" the same way as you would the people whose signs said "Clean and Sober" or "Protective of loved ones?"
What if the signs had positives on one side and negatives on the other? Would you want to only show one side, or would you show both sides?
Some days, I wish I had a sign so that people would know that I have ADD and would therefore not sit and click their pen next to me. They would know that I struggle with self esteem issues and depression and they would not say things in a joking manner that keeps me up crying at night. They would know that I am a little OCD and would not do things willy nilly without a list to check off. Other days, I wish I had my other sign so that people would know that I take my family and my faith seriously.
Then there are days that I wish that other people wore signs so that I could figure out what in the world is going on in people's heads sometimes.
However, one of my favorite things to do is to try to figure out what makes people "click." I love to people watch and find out about them. So, I think the signs would take away from that.
Also, I know that to God, I might as well be wearing a sign since he knows my true heart and spirit. He is the one whose opinion matters most, and that is what I need to remember.
So, my question to you is:
If you could know, beforehand, what would be on the front and back of peoples signs, would you choose to do so?
Would you want to wear a sign?
What would each side of your sign say?
If God made your sign, would it say the same thing as if you made it yourself?
For example, I often wonder if I walked around with a sign that said, "ADD. OCD. Depression. Low self esteem. Slightly neurotic," if it would make people be more conscientious with their words and actions, or if it would scare them off or make them decide I was not worth getting to know?
What if the signs said only positive things? "Devoted wife and mother. Desire to be Christ-like. Persistent." Would that then make people want to get to know me? Would they be disappointed if they chose to get to know me based on my sign, and then saw all of the "bad" traits later?
What if it were that everyone wore a sign? Would you greet the person with the sign that said "Addict" or "Murderer" the same way as you would the people whose signs said "Clean and Sober" or "Protective of loved ones?"
What if the signs had positives on one side and negatives on the other? Would you want to only show one side, or would you show both sides?
Some days, I wish I had a sign so that people would know that I have ADD and would therefore not sit and click their pen next to me. They would know that I struggle with self esteem issues and depression and they would not say things in a joking manner that keeps me up crying at night. They would know that I am a little OCD and would not do things willy nilly without a list to check off. Other days, I wish I had my other sign so that people would know that I take my family and my faith seriously.
Then there are days that I wish that other people wore signs so that I could figure out what in the world is going on in people's heads sometimes.
However, one of my favorite things to do is to try to figure out what makes people "click." I love to people watch and find out about them. So, I think the signs would take away from that.
Also, I know that to God, I might as well be wearing a sign since he knows my true heart and spirit. He is the one whose opinion matters most, and that is what I need to remember.
So, my question to you is:
If you could know, beforehand, what would be on the front and back of peoples signs, would you choose to do so?
Would you want to wear a sign?
What would each side of your sign say?
If God made your sign, would it say the same thing as if you made it yourself?
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Hey - remember me??
Wow, it has been a long time. Not sure if anyone still visits or not, but if so, I’m glad you’re here.
I kind of took a blogging break over the summer. I enjoyed my wonderful kiddos and my sweet hubby. Each summer I realize how little time I have left with my kids at home. J. is going into 10th grade this year and M. is starting 6th grade – Junior High!! I cannot believe they are that old. Nor can I believe that I am old enough to have children that old. I still believe that I am a decade younger than I am. It is always a big shock when I realize that I will be turning 40 in January instead of 30.
While we did not do anything extravagant this summer, we did get to spend some quality time together. We had day hours at the gym, which let us have the evenings all together, which will not happen during the school year.
Since I tend to be verbose, here is the Reader’s Digest Condensed Version of our summer:
- J. got to go to church camp in Arkansas
- The girls got to gymnastics camp and train with the GA Gym Dawgs. They loved it!
- We got to spend some time at our family’s cabin in the mountains – our favorite place
- Vacation Bible School
- Anniversary trip with hubby to Gatlinburg, Pigeon Forge, and Cherokee
- Starting on the orthodontic road with M.
- My baby girl turning 12
- Drivers Ed. For J.
- J. getting a boot on her foot for tearing up a ligament/tendon and bone bruising
- Went to funerals for 3 different people
- NOT GIVING IN TO THE DEPRESSION MONSTER!!
The depression monster really tried to get me this summer as I had a lot of things hitting me all at once from many different locations. I really worked hard into not giving in, but it took everything in my power. While normally I have a very low sense of self worth, I was actually quite proud of myself for being able to hold it together this time. I have never had some of the things happen to me before that I had to deal with over the summer; nor have I ever been treated the way I was by some this summer. I got hurt very deeply while dealing with some stresses at my jobs as well as a lot of changes going on at church and at home. There were many nights that I cried myself to sleep, and many days that I hid in the bathroom and cried. There were many times that I could not stop thinking on all of the things that were going on. However, I NEVER gave up hope! This was due to many factors – good friends, good family, and a great God. I remembered all of the wonderful things my “online” friends and my “church” friends, and my “work” friends and my family have said to me along the way. I also remembered the promises that my Father in Heaven made me about never forsaking me and that if He led me to it, He would lead me through it.
I appreciate all of you sticking with me and for being such an important part of my life.
Also, you friends listed over there on the right of my page? I truly love you all and send my apologies for not visiting your sites lately. I kind of removed myself from the blog world for a little while. I did miss you all dearly and hope that I will be accepted back.
Now I am going to spend my last evening with my family before school starts.
Hug your family – you never know when it will be the last chance you get.
I kind of took a blogging break over the summer. I enjoyed my wonderful kiddos and my sweet hubby. Each summer I realize how little time I have left with my kids at home. J. is going into 10th grade this year and M. is starting 6th grade – Junior High!! I cannot believe they are that old. Nor can I believe that I am old enough to have children that old. I still believe that I am a decade younger than I am. It is always a big shock when I realize that I will be turning 40 in January instead of 30.
While we did not do anything extravagant this summer, we did get to spend some quality time together. We had day hours at the gym, which let us have the evenings all together, which will not happen during the school year.
Since I tend to be verbose, here is the Reader’s Digest Condensed Version of our summer:
- J. got to go to church camp in Arkansas
- The girls got to gymnastics camp and train with the GA Gym Dawgs. They loved it!
- We got to spend some time at our family’s cabin in the mountains – our favorite place
- Vacation Bible School
- Anniversary trip with hubby to Gatlinburg, Pigeon Forge, and Cherokee
- Starting on the orthodontic road with M.
- My baby girl turning 12
- Drivers Ed. For J.
- J. getting a boot on her foot for tearing up a ligament/tendon and bone bruising
- Went to funerals for 3 different people
- NOT GIVING IN TO THE DEPRESSION MONSTER!!
The depression monster really tried to get me this summer as I had a lot of things hitting me all at once from many different locations. I really worked hard into not giving in, but it took everything in my power. While normally I have a very low sense of self worth, I was actually quite proud of myself for being able to hold it together this time. I have never had some of the things happen to me before that I had to deal with over the summer; nor have I ever been treated the way I was by some this summer. I got hurt very deeply while dealing with some stresses at my jobs as well as a lot of changes going on at church and at home. There were many nights that I cried myself to sleep, and many days that I hid in the bathroom and cried. There were many times that I could not stop thinking on all of the things that were going on. However, I NEVER gave up hope! This was due to many factors – good friends, good family, and a great God. I remembered all of the wonderful things my “online” friends and my “church” friends, and my “work” friends and my family have said to me along the way. I also remembered the promises that my Father in Heaven made me about never forsaking me and that if He led me to it, He would lead me through it.
I appreciate all of you sticking with me and for being such an important part of my life.
Also, you friends listed over there on the right of my page? I truly love you all and send my apologies for not visiting your sites lately. I kind of removed myself from the blog world for a little while. I did miss you all dearly and hope that I will be accepted back.
Now I am going to spend my last evening with my family before school starts.
Hug your family – you never know when it will be the last chance you get.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Seinfeld-esque
Did you ever watch the TV show Seinfeld? If not, it was the show about nothing. That is kind of how this post is going to be – a lot of nothings with no point whatsoever.
My blog buddy Natalie did something similar to this and I really enjoyed reading it. I am going to piggyback on her idea, with a few changes. Most of these are hypothetical questions that I don’t expect an answer to in this lifetime. Others are just things that stress me out and keep me up at night.
I am doing this for 2 reasons: I haven’t had a minute to put together a coherent entry. Out of the 4 computers in our house, only one is both working and accessible right now. Of course, it is the one computer that I don’t have any of my pictures on. With all of us fighting over the computer, my turn doesn’t last long.
Anyway, here goes.
Why do people on a multi lane highway drive the same speed as the car next to them? That creates a wall in which no one can get around. Why can’t they either speed up or slow down and/or change lanes? It’s not that hard.
Why do people think it is okay for them to turn left into the school entrance that says “No left turn?”
Why are people disrespectful to my kid(s) in front of other people and then deny it? Especially when a whole room full of people can hear it?
Why do networks find it necessary to put so much language and sexual stuff in shows that otherwise would be great shows that we could watch as a family?
Why am I so talented at having things get mangled somewhere between my brain and my mouth? Things sound so different in my head.
It bothers me that I may have to take anti-depressants my entire life.
I wonder if I will ever “get it together.”
Will I ever get enough sleep so that I am not always so tired?
When we get to heaven, will we be forever the age we were when we died?
Will we recognize each other in heaven?
Why can people make decisions that affect other people without conferring with those affected?
Will I ever be happy with myself?
Why do I have so many strange quirks? Can I make them go away? I don’t want to have issues with certain sounds and textures.
Will my kids grow up to be wonderful Christian women?
If they don’t, will I still be able to show unconditional love and acceptance?
Will I ever be able to find the movie Pure Luck on DVD?
Why have they not found more cures and treatments for cancer, especially childhood cancers?
Will I ever be caught up on laundry and house cleaning?
Why do my grey hairs all grow in the same spot?
How did I get so blessed to have such great blog friends, a handful of awesome friends that I see on a regular basis, a husband who loves me as well as likes me, and two amazing kids???
How was that for a post about nothing?
Leave me some comments and let me know some of the things you ponder.
As always, thanks for stopping by. Hopefully soon I will post a blog about an actual topic. Or with some pictures. Or at least a coherent thought. If it is a good day, maybe all three will appear in the same entry. Who knows???
My blog buddy Natalie did something similar to this and I really enjoyed reading it. I am going to piggyback on her idea, with a few changes. Most of these are hypothetical questions that I don’t expect an answer to in this lifetime. Others are just things that stress me out and keep me up at night.
I am doing this for 2 reasons: I haven’t had a minute to put together a coherent entry. Out of the 4 computers in our house, only one is both working and accessible right now. Of course, it is the one computer that I don’t have any of my pictures on. With all of us fighting over the computer, my turn doesn’t last long.
Anyway, here goes.
Why do people on a multi lane highway drive the same speed as the car next to them? That creates a wall in which no one can get around. Why can’t they either speed up or slow down and/or change lanes? It’s not that hard.
Why do people think it is okay for them to turn left into the school entrance that says “No left turn?”
Why are people disrespectful to my kid(s) in front of other people and then deny it? Especially when a whole room full of people can hear it?
Why do networks find it necessary to put so much language and sexual stuff in shows that otherwise would be great shows that we could watch as a family?
Why am I so talented at having things get mangled somewhere between my brain and my mouth? Things sound so different in my head.
It bothers me that I may have to take anti-depressants my entire life.
I wonder if I will ever “get it together.”
Will I ever get enough sleep so that I am not always so tired?
When we get to heaven, will we be forever the age we were when we died?
Will we recognize each other in heaven?
Why can people make decisions that affect other people without conferring with those affected?
Will I ever be happy with myself?
Why do I have so many strange quirks? Can I make them go away? I don’t want to have issues with certain sounds and textures.
Will my kids grow up to be wonderful Christian women?
If they don’t, will I still be able to show unconditional love and acceptance?
Will I ever be able to find the movie Pure Luck on DVD?
Why have they not found more cures and treatments for cancer, especially childhood cancers?
Will I ever be caught up on laundry and house cleaning?
Why do my grey hairs all grow in the same spot?
How did I get so blessed to have such great blog friends, a handful of awesome friends that I see on a regular basis, a husband who loves me as well as likes me, and two amazing kids???
How was that for a post about nothing?
Leave me some comments and let me know some of the things you ponder.
As always, thanks for stopping by. Hopefully soon I will post a blog about an actual topic. Or with some pictures. Or at least a coherent thought. If it is a good day, maybe all three will appear in the same entry. Who knows???
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Very disturbing entry - also quite useless
This is probably the strangest and most useless blog entry that has ever been posted. As a matter of fact you may want to stop reading now, because what follows is quite disturbing.
Let me set the stage. For those of you that know me, you know that I have a LOT of hair. I also have a lot of weird issues. One of my weird issues is my wet hair touching me. So, the other day after my shower, I was blow-drying the ends of my hair so that it would not drip on me (I am cringing just typing it – ewwww.) Anyway, I was leaning far to one side so that all of my hair was hanging down in the air and not on my back. I then leaned a little forward. While blow-drying my hair, I happened to look in the mirror and noticed something quite strange and frankly downright frightening. I noticed that gravity was not my friend.
My face looked quite strange. It actually looked like it was melting. I was leaning to the left while using the dryer. The left side of my face looked like it was stretched realllllly far and the right side of my face was all bunched up at my eye. After I got over the sheer terror of realizing that was MY face, I became interested to see what would happen as I moved around. Unfortunately, I discovered that it was not just that one position. As I leaned further over and forward and backward, my face continued to morph into unrecognizability.
I knew that as you aged, your skin lost elasticity and have even noticed it around my eyes. However, NOTHING could have prepared me for what just happened. I am still in my 30’s! Not by much, but I am holding on to the 30’s with dear life. I forget quite often how old I am. I don’t think I will forget any more, though, as that image is indelibly etched in my brain.
I am still going back and forth between being mortified and morbidly fascinated. I keep finding myself in front of the mirror leaning over in different ways.
Now, I am going to be curious as to which of you go and try this when no one is looking. Let me know if you discover strange contortions of your face. If you try it and nothing changes in your face – well then PHHHHTTT. Just kidding, it will happen soon enough.
You may wonder why in the world I posted something like this. My reasons are two fold – one, it gives everyone fodder for teasing me with, as if you needed more ammunition. Two, it gave me a chance to use my new Mac book and see how well it works with blogger.
Thanks for reading this absolutely pointless entry.
Let me set the stage. For those of you that know me, you know that I have a LOT of hair. I also have a lot of weird issues. One of my weird issues is my wet hair touching me. So, the other day after my shower, I was blow-drying the ends of my hair so that it would not drip on me (I am cringing just typing it – ewwww.) Anyway, I was leaning far to one side so that all of my hair was hanging down in the air and not on my back. I then leaned a little forward. While blow-drying my hair, I happened to look in the mirror and noticed something quite strange and frankly downright frightening. I noticed that gravity was not my friend.
My face looked quite strange. It actually looked like it was melting. I was leaning to the left while using the dryer. The left side of my face looked like it was stretched realllllly far and the right side of my face was all bunched up at my eye. After I got over the sheer terror of realizing that was MY face, I became interested to see what would happen as I moved around. Unfortunately, I discovered that it was not just that one position. As I leaned further over and forward and backward, my face continued to morph into unrecognizability.
I knew that as you aged, your skin lost elasticity and have even noticed it around my eyes. However, NOTHING could have prepared me for what just happened. I am still in my 30’s! Not by much, but I am holding on to the 30’s with dear life. I forget quite often how old I am. I don’t think I will forget any more, though, as that image is indelibly etched in my brain.
I am still going back and forth between being mortified and morbidly fascinated. I keep finding myself in front of the mirror leaning over in different ways.
Now, I am going to be curious as to which of you go and try this when no one is looking. Let me know if you discover strange contortions of your face. If you try it and nothing changes in your face – well then PHHHHTTT. Just kidding, it will happen soon enough.
You may wonder why in the world I posted something like this. My reasons are two fold – one, it gives everyone fodder for teasing me with, as if you needed more ammunition. Two, it gave me a chance to use my new Mac book and see how well it works with blogger.
Thanks for reading this absolutely pointless entry.
Friday, February 20, 2009
I thought that I liked roller coasters . . . .
As I have stated before, comparing life to a roller coaster ride is quite an accurate analogy. The nervousness and tenseness over what is coming, the fear as it gets closer, the desire to turn around and get off as you crest, the terror and thrill as you plummet, the amazement that you survived after the descent, the wonderment if you can handle it again as a new climb begins, and finally, exultation at the end that you survived it and could survive it again.
This past week has been one of those roller coaster rides. There were so many emotions that were experienced this week that it has left us a little dazed.
We had 3 gymnastics meets this weekend. (Don't worry, the whole post isn't about gymnastics.) The team that I coach had their very first meet ever. This was also my first meet as a team coach. I was nervous for myself and each of my 15 girls. However, they all did such an amazing job and came in 2nd place as a team! Woo-hoo! My own daughters each competed this weekend as well. M. scored a 9.5 on vault! It was a beautiful vault. She also brought her all around score up by around 2 points from her first meet. (When scores are measured by tenths of points, a 2 point change is quite an improvement.) Her team came in second place as well. Their team score came up by about 5 points from their last meet, which is incredible. J. scored her highest all-around score ever! Her team came in first place, by about 5 points. So, all in all, an incredible weekend gymnastics wise.
However, in the midst of all of this, we got hit with several not so wonderful things. I really cannot go into much detail of the exact circumstance. Even if I did so, it would not do an accurate job conveying the emotions involved. I can say that it struck our foundation really hard. I will try to use a hypothetical situation to help everyone understand. Think of something that is a vital part of your life or someone in your immediate family's life. It could be a job, school, church, a group of friends, a support group, or something like that. Now, imagine that you all of a sudden found out that it was no longer going to be the same. Imagine that it was going to change so drastically that it scared you. If it is your job that you are thinking of, imagine if someone in headquarters was going to revamp your whole department, and your favorite boss or mentor was no longer going to be there. Granted, there are reasons for this decision, whether you agree with them or not. However, you struggle because the people making the decision are basing their decision on what they feel is best for a department that they are not a part of. If you work in the department, you will see this decision completely differently than those that are not as emotionally involved. You also know how the news will be received by those affected. You know that it should have been handled differently. They know it too, but they realized it too late.
You know that there had to be a legitimate reason for the decision. You have to trust that those in charge know what they are doing. You have to have faith that they are looking out for those they are leading. You have to accept what has happened, maybe not quietly, but you have to accept it. You have to. Or else you will self destruct. You have to believe that the entity that is such a strong part of your life will still be there for you. You have to realize that those involved are humans, and that you must have grace.
The hard part is watching your child cry herself to sleep at night. It is hard watching her friends cry. It is hard to see them go through so much inner turmoil - more than they normally go through. It is hard seeing the fear in your child's eyes because they don't know what is going to happen next. It is hard to explain to them that there may be something good that comes from this. It is hard to know that they feel unimportant. It is just hard.
I am at the point on the roller coaster ride where I want to get off. This isn't fun anymore. I want to go back to 2 weeks ago when my kids were happy. When they felt important and loved. When they felt like their opinions mattered to others. However, I know that this isn't possible.
I know that all decisions cannot be based on what we want. I know that these things happen and I cannot change them. I also know at the end, when this ride is over, I will feel exultant to have survived, as will my children. I will feel a little better prepared for the next ride. I am starting to see some of the "good" already. I see my oldest daughter deciding to step up and be a leader to help some of the other kids who are upset and scared. She and several of her other friends talked and decided to step up together to help with this. I see other teenagers so affected by emotion that I know they will never be the same. They will be more approachable and more appreciative. I believe this will force some of the kids affected to take more control of themselves. I wonder if some of them may have gotten too dependant or too comfortable in their comfort zone. This may open some of their eyes to the fact that they alone control their lives. I see people showing passion that before were kind of lackadaisical. Passion, whether positive or negative, is much more effective than nonchalance. Passion shows care. Used properly, it can be a very powerful tool. I see more parents becoming involved. I see leaders realizing that decisions on paper and decisions in real life are two different things.
So, am I happy about these events? No, absolutely not.
Do I think that it is what is best? For my family, no, definitely not. As a whole? I'm not sure yet.
Do I think good can come out of this? Yes
Am I scared of the changes? No. I am terrified.
Do I trust those that made the decision? Yes
Am I a barrel of contradictions? Yes and no. :-)
Do I believe that God will help guide us through? Oh yes!
So, if you have read to the end, kudos to you. It probably makes no sense whatsoever. I just needed to get it all out.
Thank you for listening. I would love to hear how any of you have dealt with unforeseen life-altering events. I want it all - the good, the bad, and the ugly.
This past week has been one of those roller coaster rides. There were so many emotions that were experienced this week that it has left us a little dazed.
We had 3 gymnastics meets this weekend. (Don't worry, the whole post isn't about gymnastics.) The team that I coach had their very first meet ever. This was also my first meet as a team coach. I was nervous for myself and each of my 15 girls. However, they all did such an amazing job and came in 2nd place as a team! Woo-hoo! My own daughters each competed this weekend as well. M. scored a 9.5 on vault! It was a beautiful vault. She also brought her all around score up by around 2 points from her first meet. (When scores are measured by tenths of points, a 2 point change is quite an improvement.) Her team came in second place as well. Their team score came up by about 5 points from their last meet, which is incredible. J. scored her highest all-around score ever! Her team came in first place, by about 5 points. So, all in all, an incredible weekend gymnastics wise.
However, in the midst of all of this, we got hit with several not so wonderful things. I really cannot go into much detail of the exact circumstance. Even if I did so, it would not do an accurate job conveying the emotions involved. I can say that it struck our foundation really hard. I will try to use a hypothetical situation to help everyone understand. Think of something that is a vital part of your life or someone in your immediate family's life. It could be a job, school, church, a group of friends, a support group, or something like that. Now, imagine that you all of a sudden found out that it was no longer going to be the same. Imagine that it was going to change so drastically that it scared you. If it is your job that you are thinking of, imagine if someone in headquarters was going to revamp your whole department, and your favorite boss or mentor was no longer going to be there. Granted, there are reasons for this decision, whether you agree with them or not. However, you struggle because the people making the decision are basing their decision on what they feel is best for a department that they are not a part of. If you work in the department, you will see this decision completely differently than those that are not as emotionally involved. You also know how the news will be received by those affected. You know that it should have been handled differently. They know it too, but they realized it too late.
You know that there had to be a legitimate reason for the decision. You have to trust that those in charge know what they are doing. You have to have faith that they are looking out for those they are leading. You have to accept what has happened, maybe not quietly, but you have to accept it. You have to. Or else you will self destruct. You have to believe that the entity that is such a strong part of your life will still be there for you. You have to realize that those involved are humans, and that you must have grace.
The hard part is watching your child cry herself to sleep at night. It is hard watching her friends cry. It is hard to see them go through so much inner turmoil - more than they normally go through. It is hard seeing the fear in your child's eyes because they don't know what is going to happen next. It is hard to explain to them that there may be something good that comes from this. It is hard to know that they feel unimportant. It is just hard.
I am at the point on the roller coaster ride where I want to get off. This isn't fun anymore. I want to go back to 2 weeks ago when my kids were happy. When they felt important and loved. When they felt like their opinions mattered to others. However, I know that this isn't possible.
I know that all decisions cannot be based on what we want. I know that these things happen and I cannot change them. I also know at the end, when this ride is over, I will feel exultant to have survived, as will my children. I will feel a little better prepared for the next ride. I am starting to see some of the "good" already. I see my oldest daughter deciding to step up and be a leader to help some of the other kids who are upset and scared. She and several of her other friends talked and decided to step up together to help with this. I see other teenagers so affected by emotion that I know they will never be the same. They will be more approachable and more appreciative. I believe this will force some of the kids affected to take more control of themselves. I wonder if some of them may have gotten too dependant or too comfortable in their comfort zone. This may open some of their eyes to the fact that they alone control their lives. I see people showing passion that before were kind of lackadaisical. Passion, whether positive or negative, is much more effective than nonchalance. Passion shows care. Used properly, it can be a very powerful tool. I see more parents becoming involved. I see leaders realizing that decisions on paper and decisions in real life are two different things.
So, am I happy about these events? No, absolutely not.
Do I think that it is what is best? For my family, no, definitely not. As a whole? I'm not sure yet.
Do I think good can come out of this? Yes
Am I scared of the changes? No. I am terrified.
Do I trust those that made the decision? Yes
Am I a barrel of contradictions? Yes and no. :-)
Do I believe that God will help guide us through? Oh yes!
So, if you have read to the end, kudos to you. It probably makes no sense whatsoever. I just needed to get it all out.
Thank you for listening. I would love to hear how any of you have dealt with unforeseen life-altering events. I want it all - the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Where in the world are you?
As usual, our minister Jody, got my wheels turning this weekend.
Have you ever thought about the demographics of our planet? It has crossed my mind, but I have not really dwelt on it much.
Have you ever really thought about the difference between how those of us that live in America versus those that do NOT live in America? Again, I have thought about it. I’m sure you fellow Americans have thought about it as well.
Have you ever gotten frustrated that you could not get in touch with someone because they did not read their email often enough? (Yes for me.) What about ones that did not even have email? (Oh my goodness yes.) And the ones that don’t answer their cell phones? (Um, certainly.) How about those that don’t even have cell phones? (Yes, yes, yes!) Do you ever find it hard to believe that there are people in the world that don’t have email or cell phones? (Resounding YES from me, again.)
Well, our minister mentioned a website called 100 people. They took the worlds demographics and converted them into numbers we can wrap our minds around. Look at this:
If the World were 100 PEOPLE:
50 would be female
50 would be male
5 would be from North America
9 would be from Latin America & the Caribbean
12 would be from Europe
61 would be from Asia
13 would be from Africa
31 would be Christian
21 would be Muslim
14 would be Hindu
6 would be Buddhist
12 would believe in other religions
16 would not be religious or identify themselves as being aligned with a particular faith
17 would speak Chinese
8 would speak Hindustani
8 would speak English
7 would speak Spanish
4 would speak Arabic
4 would speak Russian
3 would speak Bengali
2 would speak Malay-Indonesian
2 would speak French
45 would speak other languages
82 would be able to read and write
18 would not
76 males would have a primary school education
72 females would have a primary school education
66 males would have a secondary school education
63 females would have a secondary school education
1 would have a college education
83 would have access to safe drinking water
17 would use unimproved water
17 would be undernourished
I live in one of the most affluent counties in my state. We live paycheck to paycheck and often feel inadequate around our more affluential friends and neighbors. This list helped me to realize that, truly, I am “rich” by the majority of the world’s standards.
While my head has known this fact for a while, the numbers broken down this way really helped me to get my mind around it.
The challenge I am issuing to myself, and to you, is this: What are we going to do with this knowledge? Do we try to introduce Jesus to those that don’t know him? Do we try to get drinking water to those that thirst? Do we try to get food to those that hunger? Do we try to teach those that cannot read? These seem like overwhelming tasks for you or me.
There are people who have devoted their lives to helping these people. If you are a member of a church, you probably support missionaries. Increasing your giving to church will help support those that are already out there working on these issues.
If you are not sure what to do about this, prayers for guidance and clarity are always beneficial for the person praying and for the issues and people being prayed for.
**I am not asking you to become a missionary or to sell all that you have to try to change the world. I just want to strike a chord within your heart. If we all changed our way of thinking just the tiniest bit, we could change the world. Compassion and generosity are contagious. If you display these traits, those around you will start trying to be the same. If you impart these traits on to your children, it will spread even faster. I wonder how long it would take to change the world?
Again, thank you for reading my ramblings!
Let me know you were here! I love to know that I am not talking to myself. Also, look through some of my previous comments and pay some of my visitors a visit as well.
Have you ever thought about the demographics of our planet? It has crossed my mind, but I have not really dwelt on it much.
Have you ever really thought about the difference between how those of us that live in America versus those that do NOT live in America? Again, I have thought about it. I’m sure you fellow Americans have thought about it as well.
Have you ever gotten frustrated that you could not get in touch with someone because they did not read their email often enough? (Yes for me.) What about ones that did not even have email? (Oh my goodness yes.) And the ones that don’t answer their cell phones? (Um, certainly.) How about those that don’t even have cell phones? (Yes, yes, yes!) Do you ever find it hard to believe that there are people in the world that don’t have email or cell phones? (Resounding YES from me, again.)
Well, our minister mentioned a website called 100 people. They took the worlds demographics and converted them into numbers we can wrap our minds around. Look at this:
If the World were 100 PEOPLE:
50 would be female
50 would be male
5 would be from North America
9 would be from Latin America & the Caribbean
12 would be from Europe
61 would be from Asia
13 would be from Africa
31 would be Christian
21 would be Muslim
14 would be Hindu
6 would be Buddhist
12 would believe in other religions
16 would not be religious or identify themselves as being aligned with a particular faith
17 would speak Chinese
8 would speak Hindustani
8 would speak English
7 would speak Spanish
4 would speak Arabic
4 would speak Russian
3 would speak Bengali
2 would speak Malay-Indonesian
2 would speak French
45 would speak other languages
82 would be able to read and write
18 would not
76 males would have a primary school education
72 females would have a primary school education
66 males would have a secondary school education
63 females would have a secondary school education
1 would have a college education
83 would have access to safe drinking water
17 would use unimproved water
17 would be undernourished
53 would live on less than 2USD per day
50 would live in poverty
76 would have electricity
24 would not
34 would be cell phone subscribers
17 would be active internet users
1 would own a computer
A similar website had the following statistics:
18 would be white
82 would be non-white
89 would be hetero sexual
11 would be homosexual
5 would control 32% of the entire world’s wealth, and all of them would be US citizens
80 would live in substandard housing
24 would not have any electricity
So, apparently, I am quite the minority. I am a white Christian female with a college education, I speak English, I have a cell phone and access to the internet, and I do not live in poverty.
A similar website had the following statistics:
18 would be white
82 would be non-white
89 would be hetero sexual
11 would be homosexual
5 would control 32% of the entire world’s wealth, and all of them would be US citizens
80 would live in substandard housing
24 would not have any electricity
So, apparently, I am quite the minority. I am a white Christian female with a college education, I speak English, I have a cell phone and access to the internet, and I do not live in poverty.
I live in one of the most affluent counties in my state. We live paycheck to paycheck and often feel inadequate around our more affluential friends and neighbors. This list helped me to realize that, truly, I am “rich” by the majority of the world’s standards.
While my head has known this fact for a while, the numbers broken down this way really helped me to get my mind around it.
The challenge I am issuing to myself, and to you, is this: What are we going to do with this knowledge? Do we try to introduce Jesus to those that don’t know him? Do we try to get drinking water to those that thirst? Do we try to get food to those that hunger? Do we try to teach those that cannot read? These seem like overwhelming tasks for you or me.
There are people who have devoted their lives to helping these people. If you are a member of a church, you probably support missionaries. Increasing your giving to church will help support those that are already out there working on these issues.
If you are not sure what to do about this, prayers for guidance and clarity are always beneficial for the person praying and for the issues and people being prayed for.
**I am not asking you to become a missionary or to sell all that you have to try to change the world. I just want to strike a chord within your heart. If we all changed our way of thinking just the tiniest bit, we could change the world. Compassion and generosity are contagious. If you display these traits, those around you will start trying to be the same. If you impart these traits on to your children, it will spread even faster. I wonder how long it would take to change the world?
Again, thank you for reading my ramblings!
Let me know you were here! I love to know that I am not talking to myself. Also, look through some of my previous comments and pay some of my visitors a visit as well.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Democrat or Repulican?
I am not a very politically minded person. I have never gotten too involved with it beyond the surface. Therefore, I feel a little inept during political conversations. I find it fascinating that people that ARE politically minded know so much about the process as well as the people involved.
So, for my personal education ONLY - not to start any political debate, I ask the following questions:
1) Are you a repulican, democrat, liberal, or some other party? Have you always affiliated with this party?
2) Do you tend to stay in your decided party when you are voting? Or does it depend on the candidate?
3) What are the traits that you look at to decide what party you want to affliate with?
4) Tell me 3 positive things about your party.
RULES:
1) You do not have to answer all of the questions
2) Post your answers in the guestbook
3) This is a FRIENDLY survey - for my education only, and possibly to educate others
4) Please only tell me positives about your party - do NOT say negatives or bash any other party or any person that does not agree with you and yours
If there is one thing that I have learned over the years is that there is always more to learn. I don't believe in being so closed minded that nothing else can come into my brain, nor do I believe in being so open minded that my brains fall out. No matter what my stand is on something, I do like to hear opinions that vary from mine. More times than not, I find myself seeing that there are things that I did not know or did not understand that make me more understanding of how others think and why they think the way that they do.
I hope that this does not turn into an ugly discussion, please keep it friendly.
I will start and answer the questions myself.
I am a Republican because they tend to be a little more conservative in the areas that I am a little more conservative. I tend to stay within my party when I vote, but am willing to look at the individual candidate - there are things I agree with on each party. As I stated, I don't normally get too involved with politics, so I tend to look at just a few things when deciding on a candidate. The stand on abortion is a big one for me because I see that as an indicator on how their view is on human life. Is that a foolproof way to decide? No, it is not. Could someone believe in abortion and still value the unborn child? I suppose that they could. My point is that MY PERSONAL BELIEFS on abortion tend to mesh better with the Republican party. However, my stand on Stem Cell studies tends to mesh better with the Democrat party. This may seem like an oxymoron to many. I feel that embryos that ARE ALREADY ON THE WAY TO BEING DESTROYED THROUGH THE DECISION OF THE PARENTS can be used to hopefully find ways to cure other children of terminal genetic diseases. From what I have learned from my research, embryonic stem cells come only from parents wishing to destroy remaining embryos that they may have - NOT from wanted embryos.
So, I can see positives for each party. I would like to learn more though. I tend to learn more by hearing from other people - not the politicians themselves.
(BTW - just because I am a Repulican does not mean that I support 100 percent everything Bush did and everything the McCain planned. NOR does it mean that I am totally against Obama. I believe both candidates had a lot to bring to the table, but I was not completely comfortable with either one of them. Does that make any sense?)
Anyway, I look forward to hearing from everyone - hopefully from all party affiliations.
If you have never posted in the guestbook before, it is easy. Just click on "Comments" at the bottom of this post. Then, on the screen that pops up, type your comments in the box. Underneath, pick your ID - if you are not a blogger, do not have open ID or a URL of your own, click "Anonymous." If you do click anonymous, be sure to sign your post so that I know who you are. :-)
So, for my personal education ONLY - not to start any political debate, I ask the following questions:
1) Are you a repulican, democrat, liberal, or some other party? Have you always affiliated with this party?
2) Do you tend to stay in your decided party when you are voting? Or does it depend on the candidate?
3) What are the traits that you look at to decide what party you want to affliate with?
4) Tell me 3 positive things about your party.
RULES:
1) You do not have to answer all of the questions
2) Post your answers in the guestbook
3) This is a FRIENDLY survey - for my education only, and possibly to educate others
4) Please only tell me positives about your party - do NOT say negatives or bash any other party or any person that does not agree with you and yours
If there is one thing that I have learned over the years is that there is always more to learn. I don't believe in being so closed minded that nothing else can come into my brain, nor do I believe in being so open minded that my brains fall out. No matter what my stand is on something, I do like to hear opinions that vary from mine. More times than not, I find myself seeing that there are things that I did not know or did not understand that make me more understanding of how others think and why they think the way that they do.
I hope that this does not turn into an ugly discussion, please keep it friendly.
I will start and answer the questions myself.
I am a Republican because they tend to be a little more conservative in the areas that I am a little more conservative. I tend to stay within my party when I vote, but am willing to look at the individual candidate - there are things I agree with on each party. As I stated, I don't normally get too involved with politics, so I tend to look at just a few things when deciding on a candidate. The stand on abortion is a big one for me because I see that as an indicator on how their view is on human life. Is that a foolproof way to decide? No, it is not. Could someone believe in abortion and still value the unborn child? I suppose that they could. My point is that MY PERSONAL BELIEFS on abortion tend to mesh better with the Republican party. However, my stand on Stem Cell studies tends to mesh better with the Democrat party. This may seem like an oxymoron to many. I feel that embryos that ARE ALREADY ON THE WAY TO BEING DESTROYED THROUGH THE DECISION OF THE PARENTS can be used to hopefully find ways to cure other children of terminal genetic diseases. From what I have learned from my research, embryonic stem cells come only from parents wishing to destroy remaining embryos that they may have - NOT from wanted embryos.
So, I can see positives for each party. I would like to learn more though. I tend to learn more by hearing from other people - not the politicians themselves.
(BTW - just because I am a Repulican does not mean that I support 100 percent everything Bush did and everything the McCain planned. NOR does it mean that I am totally against Obama. I believe both candidates had a lot to bring to the table, but I was not completely comfortable with either one of them. Does that make any sense?)
Anyway, I look forward to hearing from everyone - hopefully from all party affiliations.
If you have never posted in the guestbook before, it is easy. Just click on "Comments" at the bottom of this post. Then, on the screen that pops up, type your comments in the box. Underneath, pick your ID - if you are not a blogger, do not have open ID or a URL of your own, click "Anonymous." If you do click anonymous, be sure to sign your post so that I know who you are. :-)
Monday, January 12, 2009
Challenges - For Me AND For You
** As always, my posts are wordy. Sorry. If you just want to see the challenge I am issuing to YOU - scroll down and look for the next set of asterisks. **
Here it is the week of my last birthday in my 30’s. As is every birthday, it causes me to reflect on where I am, where I've been, and where I want to be.
I have decided that I am going to show the depression monster that would normally show up at a time like this that I, indeed, am stronger than it is through Christ which strengthens me.
I could focus on the fact that we always seem to be short on money, but instead, I choose to focus on the fact that we always seem to have enough to cover our needs. We may not get paid a lot at any of our jobs, but we have 3 jobs between the two of us when there are those out there that do not know if they will have a job tomorrow. Our girls have learned to differentiate between needs and wants through us having to really think through our purchases.
I could focus on the fact that our girls’ school and gymnastics tuition is a stretch to cover. I choose to focus on the fact that we are blessed enough that I am able to work at both the school and the gym to help offset those bills. This also allows me an insight to my daughters’ lives that most parents don’t have the privilege of seeing. I get to see my daughters at any time of the day if I need to. I see their friends and know their teachers and coaches.
I could lament the fact that we do not have much family time together due to our gym schedule. However, I choose to see that my family is strong enough to survive the hectic schedule that we have. I rejoice in the fact that both of my daughters love the same sport and that we don’t have different sports for different seasons. Our schedule stays the same for the entire school year. I love the fact that because my kids put a lot of time into their sport, that they appreciate hard work and discipline. They have learned to be good sports and have developed an intense work ethic. Not many kids can put in the hours that they do and still have the grades that they do. They are more discerning about what they do with their free time since they have so little of it. They still enjoy spending time with the rest of the family because it is such a novelty.
It does make me sad that I don’t get to see the rest of my family more than I do. But, I have 2 parents that have been married for almost 50 years. I have a sister that has devoted her life to being a good mom, sister, aunt, and grand-ma. She works gazillions of hours without ever taking a day off so that she can take care of whatever is needed. She has 3 kids who are all very different, but all very wonderful. I know that they all love me and my kids and hope that they know that we love all of them very much. I have great in-laws that I get along with. I have a husband who loves his in-laws and who is loved by them. We are blessed to have that.
I could be sad about getting older, but I am rejoicing that I am still alive and healthy.
I could be sad that I/we still don’t “have it together” like I envisioned 10 years ago, but I am rejoicing that we have provided a loving, stable family for our girls and that our marriage is still going strong.
** So, my challenge for you is this: I want you to sign the guestbook and tell me either some bits of wisdom you have learned over the years, your favorite birthday present or your favorite birthday memory, or something that you are thankful for that may not at first have seemed like a blessing. My birthday present for myself will be to see how many comments that I can get from you guys answering these questions. I don’t want birthday wishes for myself, but insight into you guys out there and hopefully to gain some wisdom for myself. **
Thank you for stopping by and reading my always wordy posts.
Here it is the week of my last birthday in my 30’s. As is every birthday, it causes me to reflect on where I am, where I've been, and where I want to be.
I have decided that I am going to show the depression monster that would normally show up at a time like this that I, indeed, am stronger than it is through Christ which strengthens me.
I could focus on the fact that we always seem to be short on money, but instead, I choose to focus on the fact that we always seem to have enough to cover our needs. We may not get paid a lot at any of our jobs, but we have 3 jobs between the two of us when there are those out there that do not know if they will have a job tomorrow. Our girls have learned to differentiate between needs and wants through us having to really think through our purchases.
I could focus on the fact that our girls’ school and gymnastics tuition is a stretch to cover. I choose to focus on the fact that we are blessed enough that I am able to work at both the school and the gym to help offset those bills. This also allows me an insight to my daughters’ lives that most parents don’t have the privilege of seeing. I get to see my daughters at any time of the day if I need to. I see their friends and know their teachers and coaches.
I could lament the fact that we do not have much family time together due to our gym schedule. However, I choose to see that my family is strong enough to survive the hectic schedule that we have. I rejoice in the fact that both of my daughters love the same sport and that we don’t have different sports for different seasons. Our schedule stays the same for the entire school year. I love the fact that because my kids put a lot of time into their sport, that they appreciate hard work and discipline. They have learned to be good sports and have developed an intense work ethic. Not many kids can put in the hours that they do and still have the grades that they do. They are more discerning about what they do with their free time since they have so little of it. They still enjoy spending time with the rest of the family because it is such a novelty.
It does make me sad that I don’t get to see the rest of my family more than I do. But, I have 2 parents that have been married for almost 50 years. I have a sister that has devoted her life to being a good mom, sister, aunt, and grand-ma. She works gazillions of hours without ever taking a day off so that she can take care of whatever is needed. She has 3 kids who are all very different, but all very wonderful. I know that they all love me and my kids and hope that they know that we love all of them very much. I have great in-laws that I get along with. I have a husband who loves his in-laws and who is loved by them. We are blessed to have that.
I could be sad about getting older, but I am rejoicing that I am still alive and healthy.
I could be sad that I/we still don’t “have it together” like I envisioned 10 years ago, but I am rejoicing that we have provided a loving, stable family for our girls and that our marriage is still going strong.
** So, my challenge for you is this: I want you to sign the guestbook and tell me either some bits of wisdom you have learned over the years, your favorite birthday present or your favorite birthday memory, or something that you are thankful for that may not at first have seemed like a blessing. My birthday present for myself will be to see how many comments that I can get from you guys answering these questions. I don’t want birthday wishes for myself, but insight into you guys out there and hopefully to gain some wisdom for myself. **
Thank you for stopping by and reading my always wordy posts.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
I can't believe it happened . . . .
Alas! Woe is me! You will never guess what has happened in the very short time frame of 2 ½ weeks. I became spoiled. Life will never be the same again. I will long for the the “spoiling era” for weeks to come. For months. For years.
Let me explain. For those of you that know me personally, this will not be news to you, but look below at my normal weekly schedule when it is NOT Christmas break:)
Monday
6:00 a.m. – wake up
7:00 a.m. – leave for work/school
7:30 a.m. – arrive at work/school – work straight through until 3:05
3:10 p.m. – leave to come home
3:30 p.m. – arrive home
3:30 – 4:10 p.m. – eat dinner, change clothes, check homework that was done in the car, and leave for gymnastics (coaching for me, practice for the girls)
4:20 p.m. – clock in at the gym
4:30 p.m. – 8:00 – coach
8:00 – 9:00p.m. – wait on daughter to get done with practice
9:30 p.m. – whenever - arrive home, grade more homework, clean up dinner dishes from earlier, do a load of laundry, say hi to hubby. Go to bed
Tuesday – Friday
Lather, rinse, repeat with only slight changes of a half hour or so here or there
Saturday
7:45 – take J. to gym
10:00 – clock in at gym
12:45 – clock out at gym
1:30 – leave gym with J.
2:00 – get home and eat lunch, enjoying the fact that Hubby and M. did all the grocery shopping
Then, there are several hours of housework, homework, etc.
That evening, I work on the Sunday school lesson that I will be teaching the next morning.
Sunday
8:00 – leave for church
9:45 – teach Sunday school class
Lunch, errands, etc.
5:30 – leave for small groups
6:00 – 7:00 – small groups
7:30 – home, dinner, bags ready for school, etc.
8:30 – panick because I got nothing done this week
Well, since school has been out, here has been my schedule for the last 2 weeks:
Monday – Saturday
Sleep in
Eat late breakfast
Eat lunch
Take a nap
Eat dinner that was cooked by husband (he took 2 weeks off as well.)
Watch a movie or play a game
Go to bed
I coached occasionally during the break, but not near as many hours as normal. Sunday school classes were on break during the holidays as well, so I did not need to prepare a lesson for a few weeks.
Needless to say, I probably gained 850 pounds due to cruddy eating habits and zero activity. And I loved every minute of it. Now I’m back to both jobs. And I miss my cozy couch, squishy pillow, and snuggly blanket. Sniff sniff.
Leave me a comment and let me know how your break was, or if you had one. If you did not get a break, what would you do if you did have 2 weeks off?
Reminder:
(I am not sure if my notifications have worked for my last couple of updates because I would start my updates one day and finish them the next. I think the date would throw the notifier thingy off. So be sure to scroll down and read the last couple of posts. Then, at the end of the post, click on "comments" and let me know you were here. If you do not have a google account, click "anonymous" in the comments section, but be sure to sign your name after your comment. )
Let me explain. For those of you that know me personally, this will not be news to you, but look below at my normal weekly schedule when it is NOT Christmas break:)
Monday
6:00 a.m. – wake up
7:00 a.m. – leave for work/school
7:30 a.m. – arrive at work/school – work straight through until 3:05
3:10 p.m. – leave to come home
3:30 p.m. – arrive home
3:30 – 4:10 p.m. – eat dinner, change clothes, check homework that was done in the car, and leave for gymnastics (coaching for me, practice for the girls)
4:20 p.m. – clock in at the gym
4:30 p.m. – 8:00 – coach
8:00 – 9:00p.m. – wait on daughter to get done with practice
9:30 p.m. – whenever - arrive home, grade more homework, clean up dinner dishes from earlier, do a load of laundry, say hi to hubby. Go to bed
Tuesday – Friday
Lather, rinse, repeat with only slight changes of a half hour or so here or there
Saturday
7:45 – take J. to gym
10:00 – clock in at gym
12:45 – clock out at gym
1:30 – leave gym with J.
2:00 – get home and eat lunch, enjoying the fact that Hubby and M. did all the grocery shopping
Then, there are several hours of housework, homework, etc.
That evening, I work on the Sunday school lesson that I will be teaching the next morning.
Sunday
8:00 – leave for church
9:45 – teach Sunday school class
Lunch, errands, etc.
5:30 – leave for small groups
6:00 – 7:00 – small groups
7:30 – home, dinner, bags ready for school, etc.
8:30 – panick because I got nothing done this week
Well, since school has been out, here has been my schedule for the last 2 weeks:
Monday – Saturday
Sleep in
Eat late breakfast
Eat lunch
Take a nap
Eat dinner that was cooked by husband (he took 2 weeks off as well.)
Watch a movie or play a game
Go to bed
I coached occasionally during the break, but not near as many hours as normal. Sunday school classes were on break during the holidays as well, so I did not need to prepare a lesson for a few weeks.
Needless to say, I probably gained 850 pounds due to cruddy eating habits and zero activity. And I loved every minute of it. Now I’m back to both jobs. And I miss my cozy couch, squishy pillow, and snuggly blanket. Sniff sniff.
Leave me a comment and let me know how your break was, or if you had one. If you did not get a break, what would you do if you did have 2 weeks off?
Reminder:
(I am not sure if my notifications have worked for my last couple of updates because I would start my updates one day and finish them the next. I think the date would throw the notifier thingy off. So be sure to scroll down and read the last couple of posts. Then, at the end of the post, click on "comments" and let me know you were here. If you do not have a google account, click "anonymous" in the comments section, but be sure to sign your name after your comment. )
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Foiled again!!
This is one of those posts where I explore my shortcomings and point fingers at myself. Please enjoy. :-)
For any of you that attend church, have you ever had one of those times where you felt like the sermon was directed at you? Or was written because of you? Don't you love those? (My oldest daughter had this same situation a few weeks ago, it was much more enjoyable when the spiritual finger was pointing at her. For me, anyway.)
Anyway, our minister,Jody, has a wonderful way of bringing up issues that we all struggle with. He is able to hook us in with real life situations. Then, after we are all drawn in, he then is able to turn it around as if it were a mirror and force us all to look honestly at ourselves.
This week, his sermon was "Everyone has a gift." Well, those of you that know me and my husband know that we have always said that we didn't have any gifts. Our families are all very gifted in one way or the other. We laughed and said that the gifts must skip generations because in our opinion, our girls are very gifted. We decided that our gift is that we made good kids. Our church even had an online "test"once that was designed to help you discover your spiritual gifts. My hubby and I both took the test. Both of our results told us that we were "side-kicks" instead of "super-heroes." We were to find others with strong gifts and help them. We, of course, laughed hysterically and used it to prove our point.
Well, this week, our minister kind of shot our theory in the foot. (Thanks, Jody!) He made 3 points:
1) Everybody has a gift given to them specifically by God.
2) All gifts come from God.
3) Our gifts are supposed to be used for the good of others.
He used 6 scriptures to illustrate his point: 1 Corinthians 7:7 (But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that;) 1 Peter 4:10 (Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others;) Romans 12:6 (We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us;) 1 Corinthians 12:7 (Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good;) 1 Corinthians 12:11 (All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines;) and Ephesians 4:7 (But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.)
It was then pointed out that there is a distinct difference between being good at something and being gifted. This is the part that makes it impossible for my hubby and I to continue to use our argument that we have no gifts. We now have to amend it. I guess we now have to say that we have yet to discover our true gifts. I guess we better get to work.
The most difficult part was another thing that Jody pointed out. That by denying or questioning that we have been given gifts is basically questioning God's generosity. Oops. Never realized that. However, when we take credit ourselves for our gifts, we are robbing God of the glory. What a balancing act!
It all almost seems like an oxymoron - you must accept greatness, but accept it humbly. Wow. That really makes my head spin. On one hand, it seems impossible. On the other hand, it seems so simple. I guess that is how the Christian life is. "On paper," it sounds like it is easy, but once you start actually trying to "do" it, that's when it gets difficult. That is where grace comes in. A friend of mine once said it this way after her daughter pointed out something she was doing wrong. She said, "Well, you know, I'm not perfect. I strive to be like Jesus, but I can't. Grace fills in my shortcomings. Thank goodness." I like that. I envision it like we are a colander. Formed perfectly, but full of holes. Usually the holes let the bad stuff drain out and the stuff you want to keep stays in. However, there are a lot of times that some of the good stuff slips out and gets lost. God's grace helps "fill in the holes" so that the good stuff stays in better. Clear as mud??
Now, my husband and I must realize that God distributed gifts to each and every one of us lovingly and intentionally and specifically. Then, we need to do some serious self-examination and see what we can find.
Thank you for reading.
Leave me a note and let me know you were here. Also, let me know how you have discovered your God-given gifts.
For any of you that attend church, have you ever had one of those times where you felt like the sermon was directed at you? Or was written because of you? Don't you love those? (My oldest daughter had this same situation a few weeks ago, it was much more enjoyable when the spiritual finger was pointing at her. For me, anyway.)
Anyway, our minister,Jody, has a wonderful way of bringing up issues that we all struggle with. He is able to hook us in with real life situations. Then, after we are all drawn in, he then is able to turn it around as if it were a mirror and force us all to look honestly at ourselves.
This week, his sermon was "Everyone has a gift." Well, those of you that know me and my husband know that we have always said that we didn't have any gifts. Our families are all very gifted in one way or the other. We laughed and said that the gifts must skip generations because in our opinion, our girls are very gifted. We decided that our gift is that we made good kids. Our church even had an online "test"once that was designed to help you discover your spiritual gifts. My hubby and I both took the test. Both of our results told us that we were "side-kicks" instead of "super-heroes." We were to find others with strong gifts and help them. We, of course, laughed hysterically and used it to prove our point.
Well, this week, our minister kind of shot our theory in the foot. (Thanks, Jody!) He made 3 points:
1) Everybody has a gift given to them specifically by God.
2) All gifts come from God.
3) Our gifts are supposed to be used for the good of others.
He used 6 scriptures to illustrate his point: 1 Corinthians 7:7 (But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that;) 1 Peter 4:10 (Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others;) Romans 12:6 (We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us;) 1 Corinthians 12:7 (Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good;) 1 Corinthians 12:11 (All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines;) and Ephesians 4:7 (But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.)
It was then pointed out that there is a distinct difference between being good at something and being gifted. This is the part that makes it impossible for my hubby and I to continue to use our argument that we have no gifts. We now have to amend it. I guess we now have to say that we have yet to discover our true gifts. I guess we better get to work.
The most difficult part was another thing that Jody pointed out. That by denying or questioning that we have been given gifts is basically questioning God's generosity. Oops. Never realized that. However, when we take credit ourselves for our gifts, we are robbing God of the glory. What a balancing act!
It all almost seems like an oxymoron - you must accept greatness, but accept it humbly. Wow. That really makes my head spin. On one hand, it seems impossible. On the other hand, it seems so simple. I guess that is how the Christian life is. "On paper," it sounds like it is easy, but once you start actually trying to "do" it, that's when it gets difficult. That is where grace comes in. A friend of mine once said it this way after her daughter pointed out something she was doing wrong. She said, "Well, you know, I'm not perfect. I strive to be like Jesus, but I can't. Grace fills in my shortcomings. Thank goodness." I like that. I envision it like we are a colander. Formed perfectly, but full of holes. Usually the holes let the bad stuff drain out and the stuff you want to keep stays in. However, there are a lot of times that some of the good stuff slips out and gets lost. God's grace helps "fill in the holes" so that the good stuff stays in better. Clear as mud??
Now, my husband and I must realize that God distributed gifts to each and every one of us lovingly and intentionally and specifically. Then, we need to do some serious self-examination and see what we can find.
Thank you for reading.
Leave me a note and let me know you were here. Also, let me know how you have discovered your God-given gifts.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Random Ramblings
For the few of you that visit my site, have you heard the crickets chirping? It has been a little quiet around these parts, huh.
Most people would assume that would mean that not much has been going on. Those people would be wrong!
To catch you up on our lives since September, here it is in a nutshell:
* Elementary back to school night for M.
* High school back to school night for J.
* J. turns 15
* J. gets learners permit
* I start teaching a small group of JH girls at church on Sunday mornings
* Our small groups start up for Sunday night
* Our gym hosted a meet, which meant 17/18 hour days for a weekend
* J. has to get contacts
* J. has some extra gym practices - on Sunday afternoons
* M. is working on items for her web design team
* M. is practicing her percussion instruments
* DH (darling hubby) throws his back out
* J gets sinus infection
* My nephew comes in for a visit from China. However, he is extremely ill the entire visit and spends most of it in bed. :-(
* My father in law (B.) and his wife (D.) come to visit from one state away, bringing with them B's brother and his wife, from several states away. Quick visit, but enjoyable.
* A nasty virus or something similar decides to take up residence in our home computer.
And last, but not least, I have discovered the evil that is Facebook. It is an addiction. However, I have enjoyed being able to keep up with so many friends and their families.
Anyway, I promise to do an interesting update (with pictures) soon now that our computer has been healed thanks to my DH!
Oh, my on-line friend, Becky, posted a hilarious story about a run in with a horrifying gigantic slug that was trying to harm her and her entire family! In honor of her story, I am going to relive my horrible encounter with a terrifying creature. Most of you know this story, but for those of you that don't, here it is:
First, I need to set the stage. The back of our house has a lot of woods which end at a large pond. My DH was working on my car out in the driveway one evening. When he got done, he came in, but left the windows open.
The next morning, I pulled out of the driveway on the way to school. J and M were in the back, as was E. a boy who was carpooling with us. It was in October, so it was still dark in the mornings when we left. As I got about 3 houses away from home, I see something in my peripheral vision. I think at first that E. is somehow putting his shoe between me and my window, so I glance around. It was not a shoe. Oh, how I wish it had been a shoe! It. was. a. RAT. NOT a mouse, a L A R G E river rat. It's body was about the size of a house cat. It had fangs. And a tail. I still shudder when I think of the tail. EW! And it was INSIDE my car! It walked across my door and made a right onto the dashboard. I opened the door, slammed on the breaks, threw the car in park, and jumped out, all in about .68ths of a second, all the while yelling, "It's a mouse, there's a mouse!!"
What about the kids, you may ask? I am ashamed to say that I left them to fend for themselves. I did not jump in the back to try to protect them. I did not try to help them get out of the car. I jumped out and told them to stay put because after the creature walked down the passenger door, I did not know where it went. (It was dark, remember??)
I called DH to come to my rescue. He comes down the road carrying, are you ready for this, a flashlight and a golf club! A golf club? Seriously?
Anyway, we never found the creature. I am assuming it got out of the car during my door flinging hysterics. I will never know for sure. All I do know is that every time I stopped at a traffic light or stop sign, I got all paranoid that it was sitting somewhere watching me.
Needless to say, we traded in that van. I couldn't function normally in it any more.
**Please let me know you were here! Sign the guestbook!**
Most people would assume that would mean that not much has been going on. Those people would be wrong!
To catch you up on our lives since September, here it is in a nutshell:
* Elementary back to school night for M.
* High school back to school night for J.
* J. turns 15
* J. gets learners permit
* I start teaching a small group of JH girls at church on Sunday mornings
* Our small groups start up for Sunday night
* Our gym hosted a meet, which meant 17/18 hour days for a weekend
* J. has to get contacts
* J. has some extra gym practices - on Sunday afternoons
* M. is working on items for her web design team
* M. is practicing her percussion instruments
* DH (darling hubby) throws his back out
* J gets sinus infection
* My nephew comes in for a visit from China. However, he is extremely ill the entire visit and spends most of it in bed. :-(
* My father in law (B.) and his wife (D.) come to visit from one state away, bringing with them B's brother and his wife, from several states away. Quick visit, but enjoyable.
* A nasty virus or something similar decides to take up residence in our home computer.
And last, but not least, I have discovered the evil that is Facebook. It is an addiction. However, I have enjoyed being able to keep up with so many friends and their families.
Anyway, I promise to do an interesting update (with pictures) soon now that our computer has been healed thanks to my DH!
Oh, my on-line friend, Becky, posted a hilarious story about a run in with a horrifying gigantic slug that was trying to harm her and her entire family! In honor of her story, I am going to relive my horrible encounter with a terrifying creature. Most of you know this story, but for those of you that don't, here it is:
First, I need to set the stage. The back of our house has a lot of woods which end at a large pond. My DH was working on my car out in the driveway one evening. When he got done, he came in, but left the windows open.
The next morning, I pulled out of the driveway on the way to school. J and M were in the back, as was E. a boy who was carpooling with us. It was in October, so it was still dark in the mornings when we left. As I got about 3 houses away from home, I see something in my peripheral vision. I think at first that E. is somehow putting his shoe between me and my window, so I glance around. It was not a shoe. Oh, how I wish it had been a shoe! It. was. a. RAT. NOT a mouse, a L A R G E river rat. It's body was about the size of a house cat. It had fangs. And a tail. I still shudder when I think of the tail. EW! And it was INSIDE my car! It walked across my door and made a right onto the dashboard. I opened the door, slammed on the breaks, threw the car in park, and jumped out, all in about .68ths of a second, all the while yelling, "It's a mouse, there's a mouse!!"
What about the kids, you may ask? I am ashamed to say that I left them to fend for themselves. I did not jump in the back to try to protect them. I did not try to help them get out of the car. I jumped out and told them to stay put because after the creature walked down the passenger door, I did not know where it went. (It was dark, remember??)
I called DH to come to my rescue. He comes down the road carrying, are you ready for this, a flashlight and a golf club! A golf club? Seriously?
Anyway, we never found the creature. I am assuming it got out of the car during my door flinging hysterics. I will never know for sure. All I do know is that every time I stopped at a traffic light or stop sign, I got all paranoid that it was sitting somewhere watching me.
Needless to say, we traded in that van. I couldn't function normally in it any more.
**Please let me know you were here! Sign the guestbook!**
Monday, August 25, 2008
. . . . And sometimes, life is great!
As some of you may know, or may have guessed, I struggle with depression at times. Then, when I am out of it, I realize how blessed I am.
I have a wonderful family:
(me, J., my sister, M., my nephew, my niece, her husband and daughter, and my mom and dad)
I have great in-laws:
(Father in law, M., J., Step-mother in law, and my hubby - C.)
I have a husband (who just got a great promotion at work - way to go honey!!) who loves me and will dress up to go to my high school reunion with me even though he most likely won't know anyone there:
I have a daughter who finally got past a mental block on her giants on bars:
I have a teenager who is silly:
I have an 11 year old who is not afraid to drive the 4-wheeler anymore:
I have kids who are silly when they see the camera:
While at the cabin, we sometimes get to have unusual encounters with wildlife:
We have fun friends. We were able to take some to the cabin with us this summer. While at the cabin with them, we got to enjoy the "twinnage" look of the two teenage girls:
How cool are they?
Their son seemed to read my mind and decided to relax:
However, don't let his sweet innocent face fool you. He's a stinker. He got my younger daughter to hide behind a tree when I was driving toward them on the 4-wheeler. When I got close, they jumped out and scared me. I almost crashed. I almost wet my pants. I almost wet my pants while crashing. They found it hilarious. I did too. Later. After my heart started beating again. I still think he's a great kid - I just want to keep him in my sights. :-)
We got to enjoy watching the kids play in the creek:
While there, we kept seeing strange creatures that resembled our children, except kinda mushed together:
This strange creature metamorphed into a mixture of different kids:
I hope you all enjoyed the pictures and a post that was not so whiny. Please leave a comment! If you do, please remember to leave your name if you sign in as "anonymous." Also, I know it is probably annoying that I use all initials instead of names. I do this for security reasons. When you sign the guestbook, please use initials as well.
I have a wonderful family:
(me, J., my sister, M., my nephew, my niece, her husband and daughter, and my mom and dad)
I have great in-laws:
(Father in law, M., J., Step-mother in law, and my hubby - C.)
I have a husband (who just got a great promotion at work - way to go honey!!) who loves me and will dress up to go to my high school reunion with me even though he most likely won't know anyone there:
I have a daughter who finally got past a mental block on her giants on bars:
I have a teenager who is silly:
I have an 11 year old who is not afraid to drive the 4-wheeler anymore:
I have kids who are silly when they see the camera:
I have the privilege of getting to go to my parents cabin with my family quite often. We get to do things like sit on the porch and enjoy the peace and quiet:
While at the cabin, we sometimes get to have unusual encounters with wildlife:
We have fun friends. We were able to take some to the cabin with us this summer. While at the cabin with them, we got to enjoy the "twinnage" look of the two teenage girls:
How cool are they?
Their son seemed to read my mind and decided to relax:
However, don't let his sweet innocent face fool you. He's a stinker. He got my younger daughter to hide behind a tree when I was driving toward them on the 4-wheeler. When I got close, they jumped out and scared me. I almost crashed. I almost wet my pants. I almost wet my pants while crashing. They found it hilarious. I did too. Later. After my heart started beating again. I still think he's a great kid - I just want to keep him in my sights. :-)
We got to enjoy watching the kids play in the creek:
While there, we kept seeing strange creatures that resembled our children, except kinda mushed together:
This strange creature metamorphed into a mixture of different kids:
Then, the metamorphosis continued, with the new creature appearing to sometimes be missing a head or torso:
The creature then began to slowly separate until it became two separate kids again:
When I see my youngest walking with her hands like this, it usually means she has caught some critter and wants to show it to me:
Getting closer:
Ah - a crawdad. I think.
Then, of course, there was the wonderful event on M's birthday, witnessed by many many friends and loved ones. Some of who are pictured here:
(My Mom, MD & his dad RD, C., myself, KG holding little KG, and JC with M. and one of her bestest friends - SE.)
I hope you all enjoyed the pictures and a post that was not so whiny. Please leave a comment! If you do, please remember to leave your name if you sign in as "anonymous." Also, I know it is probably annoying that I use all initials instead of names. I do this for security reasons. When you sign the guestbook, please use initials as well.
Thanks!!!
Monday, August 18, 2008
Sometimes, life just stinks . . . . .
Do you ever sometimes feel like you will never be able to get it together? To get ahead?
This weekend was one of those weekends.
A little history for those of you that don’t know us, C. and I had 2 cats ever since we started our lives together, their names were Oreo and Mocha. Mocha lived for 15 years, Oreo for 17. After Mocha died, Oreo kept sitting on the steps crying. So, C. and I found a pair of Ragdoll cats that were available. We had always wanted one of those cats, so C. went and picked them up. So, then, we had Oreo, Molasses, and Ginger. This last year, Oreo died and we had just Ginger and Molasses. Well, this weekend, we had to have Molasses put to sleep. What stunk so much about this one was that we had to make the decision. We did not have to do that with our others, they died at home.
Last week, Molasses peed on J.’s bed and then on ours. We assumed that he was just wanting more attention because we had started back to school. We started giving him more attention and he did not do it anymore. What we did not know was that he had a urinary tract infection. On Thursday night, he started crying like he was hurt and hissing when he went into the litter box. We took him to the vet on Friday, thinking he was constipated. They said a UTI and that he was having a hard time going. The pulled some urine and relieved his pain. He got a shot to help as well as some antibiotics. Saturday night, we had to take him to the emergency room because he was crying again and not moving around much. He was blocked again. They cathed him and we took him home. We were back at the vet Sunday afternoon for yet another blockage. He was a completely different looking animal by this point. He was raggedy looking and sad looking. The vet said that they could do surgery but that there was no guarantee that he would survive the surgery, that the surgery would work long term, or that he would not suffer long term permanent damage. This non-guarantee would cost us well over $1000. If we did nothing, his bladder would rupture and he would die in excruciating pain. We decided to euthanize him. However, having to look at my girls hearts break as they told him good bye was devastating.
I will forever wonder if we made the right decision. Will my kids be upset at a later date and think that we thought their pet was not worth spending the money on? Will they be angry that we did not try the surgery?
For someone that struggles with depression at times, this is threatening to pull me in. It seems like every time we start to get it together, something else is thrown into the mix. I know that God is good and that there is a reason for everything. I also know that I am so very strong in some ways and so very weak in others. Things seem to keep finding my weak spot.
In the past 5 years, we have:
- moved into a new house
- had the sale of our old house fall through several times, which put us paying 2 house payments for several months
- C. got laid off
- C. was out of a job for 10 months
- Old house finally sold
- Mortgage co. got mad that our payments would be late periodically during layoff period – depending on if we had money or not – so they decided to make us pay 1 ½ payments a month by money order for a year.
- C . finds another job – a definite pay cut – but a job, nonetheless
- I have a hysterectomy
- C. gets a corporate AMEX to pay for travel expenses and supplies, however, expense checks do not come in as quickly as the bills do. We have to pay for expenses with our own money and then use a credit card to pay our bills, which puts us in debt.
- The siding on our house starts to rot and we have to get replaced
- M. gets diagnosed with ADHD
- We have a different type of health insurance for a year. Of course, during that year, mine and M’s meds are not covered, neither are J’s x-rays, physical therapies, MRI’s, orthopedic appointments, etc.
- Lost 3 cats
- We have (obviously) had to ask for financial help quite a few times, which embarrasses me to no end
Okay, now let me finish by saying that I KNOW that there are others that have had it much, much worse. I also know that in this post that I sound whiny and ungrateful, so there is no need to tell me those things. Please leave comments, but only ones that are positive and encouraging. Or ones that can tell me how to hurry and find money to cover the checks that I wrote for all of the vet visits this weekend.
I really just needed to vent.
Also know that I am working on a post to follow up on this to focus on the other side, that life can be amazing at times too.
Thanks for reading!
This weekend was one of those weekends.
A little history for those of you that don’t know us, C. and I had 2 cats ever since we started our lives together, their names were Oreo and Mocha. Mocha lived for 15 years, Oreo for 17. After Mocha died, Oreo kept sitting on the steps crying. So, C. and I found a pair of Ragdoll cats that were available. We had always wanted one of those cats, so C. went and picked them up. So, then, we had Oreo, Molasses, and Ginger. This last year, Oreo died and we had just Ginger and Molasses. Well, this weekend, we had to have Molasses put to sleep. What stunk so much about this one was that we had to make the decision. We did not have to do that with our others, they died at home.
Last week, Molasses peed on J.’s bed and then on ours. We assumed that he was just wanting more attention because we had started back to school. We started giving him more attention and he did not do it anymore. What we did not know was that he had a urinary tract infection. On Thursday night, he started crying like he was hurt and hissing when he went into the litter box. We took him to the vet on Friday, thinking he was constipated. They said a UTI and that he was having a hard time going. The pulled some urine and relieved his pain. He got a shot to help as well as some antibiotics. Saturday night, we had to take him to the emergency room because he was crying again and not moving around much. He was blocked again. They cathed him and we took him home. We were back at the vet Sunday afternoon for yet another blockage. He was a completely different looking animal by this point. He was raggedy looking and sad looking. The vet said that they could do surgery but that there was no guarantee that he would survive the surgery, that the surgery would work long term, or that he would not suffer long term permanent damage. This non-guarantee would cost us well over $1000. If we did nothing, his bladder would rupture and he would die in excruciating pain. We decided to euthanize him. However, having to look at my girls hearts break as they told him good bye was devastating.
I will forever wonder if we made the right decision. Will my kids be upset at a later date and think that we thought their pet was not worth spending the money on? Will they be angry that we did not try the surgery?
For someone that struggles with depression at times, this is threatening to pull me in. It seems like every time we start to get it together, something else is thrown into the mix. I know that God is good and that there is a reason for everything. I also know that I am so very strong in some ways and so very weak in others. Things seem to keep finding my weak spot.
In the past 5 years, we have:
- moved into a new house
- had the sale of our old house fall through several times, which put us paying 2 house payments for several months
- C. got laid off
- C. was out of a job for 10 months
- Old house finally sold
- Mortgage co. got mad that our payments would be late periodically during layoff period – depending on if we had money or not – so they decided to make us pay 1 ½ payments a month by money order for a year.
- C . finds another job – a definite pay cut – but a job, nonetheless
- I have a hysterectomy
- C. gets a corporate AMEX to pay for travel expenses and supplies, however, expense checks do not come in as quickly as the bills do. We have to pay for expenses with our own money and then use a credit card to pay our bills, which puts us in debt.
- The siding on our house starts to rot and we have to get replaced
- M. gets diagnosed with ADHD
- We have a different type of health insurance for a year. Of course, during that year, mine and M’s meds are not covered, neither are J’s x-rays, physical therapies, MRI’s, orthopedic appointments, etc.
- Lost 3 cats
- We have (obviously) had to ask for financial help quite a few times, which embarrasses me to no end
Okay, now let me finish by saying that I KNOW that there are others that have had it much, much worse. I also know that in this post that I sound whiny and ungrateful, so there is no need to tell me those things. Please leave comments, but only ones that are positive and encouraging. Or ones that can tell me how to hurry and find money to cover the checks that I wrote for all of the vet visits this weekend.
I really just needed to vent.
Also know that I am working on a post to follow up on this to focus on the other side, that life can be amazing at times too.
Thanks for reading!
Monday, May 5, 2008
Preliminary update
This is an update to let you know that I'm working on an update. A really nice one. With pictures and lots of info. However, I don't have it ready yet. So, hopefully soon. :-)
Things have been pretty calm the last week or so. That is in prep for this week as well as the next two weeks. This week has M. participating in field day at school and having team tryouts for gymnastics this Saturday. She is a little concerned because she pulled a muscle in her groin area and is a little sore. She was very unhappy that this happened the week before field day and tryouts. She did not really complain this morning though, so hopefully she is almost better.
J. has a "welcome to High School" thingy tonight. We are all still a little bewildered as to how she is old enough for High School. She is happy. Dad and I? Not so much.
Next week is JH graduation for J. AHHHH!
So, this weekend is tryouts, next weekend is an all-weekend event at our gym. And by all weekend, I mean ALL weekend - Friday night, all day Saturday, and 3/4 of the day on Sunday. Because I coach, I will be working all shifts inside the gym. Then, because I am on the executive board of the booster club, I need to have someone working a lot of the shifts in the lobby working concessions. Guess who gets to fill that spot????
Then, the NEXT week is exams for J. I am stressed about those because she has a couple of classes that she really needs a good exam grade in. She has developed some kind of testing brain freeze this year. Test preps, class work, and homework produce wonderful grades. However, if it says TEST at the top of it, she cannot seem to make the same type of grades. She is taking 3 credit classes this year, so we are hoping that she at least does well on those.
Well, that is it for over here. I sure wish my life were more exciting - then I would have more to write about.
Thanks for visiting!!
Things have been pretty calm the last week or so. That is in prep for this week as well as the next two weeks. This week has M. participating in field day at school and having team tryouts for gymnastics this Saturday. She is a little concerned because she pulled a muscle in her groin area and is a little sore. She was very unhappy that this happened the week before field day and tryouts. She did not really complain this morning though, so hopefully she is almost better.
J. has a "welcome to High School" thingy tonight. We are all still a little bewildered as to how she is old enough for High School. She is happy. Dad and I? Not so much.
Next week is JH graduation for J. AHHHH!
So, this weekend is tryouts, next weekend is an all-weekend event at our gym. And by all weekend, I mean ALL weekend - Friday night, all day Saturday, and 3/4 of the day on Sunday. Because I coach, I will be working all shifts inside the gym. Then, because I am on the executive board of the booster club, I need to have someone working a lot of the shifts in the lobby working concessions. Guess who gets to fill that spot????
Then, the NEXT week is exams for J. I am stressed about those because she has a couple of classes that she really needs a good exam grade in. She has developed some kind of testing brain freeze this year. Test preps, class work, and homework produce wonderful grades. However, if it says TEST at the top of it, she cannot seem to make the same type of grades. She is taking 3 credit classes this year, so we are hoping that she at least does well on those.
Well, that is it for over here. I sure wish my life were more exciting - then I would have more to write about.
Thanks for visiting!!
Friday, April 18, 2008
Post Spring Break ramblings
Wow, it has been a long time since I posted! I really enjoyed the comments people left here after my last post as well as all of the emails that came from it! I like hearing others points of view and learning about how others tick.
Anyway, over spring break we went to my parents house. They live way out in the middle of nowhere. We let the girls each bring a friend with them. We took our 4-wheelers out there with us as well. Between our two 4-wheelers, my dad's 4-wheeler, my dad's little circus bicycle, my mom's 3-wheel bicycle, and my mom's all terrain golf-cart - the girls were riding something continuously. I will post some pictures later. Some of them are quite hilarious.
J, my oldest daughter, finally got her MRI. Guess what? She has a stress fracture in her right tibia. What fun. The doc said to try to rest it and quit trying to "work through the pain" so much. What is funny is that she is leaving on Monday for a school trip near a beach where they will be participating in many tours as well as a scavenger hunt through the town. She gets back from there on Wednesday evening. School on Thursday. Then, on Friday, a school trip to a theme park (physics lessons in a fun setting.) So, I'm not seeing much rest coming to that tired little tibia.
She is rethinking her goals for gymnastics. She doesn't think she can get to the level needed for a college scholarship in time. This has always been her goal, so it is a little hard to see her struggling right now. She has had a tough year with competing a dual season and having some injuries. She is feeling kinda down right now. I'm hoping that since competition season is almost over - one more meet - she will get time to regroup and refocus. She loves gymnastics so much and she does not want to lose it. I told her that she does not have to get a college scholarship to be a considered a successful gymnast. Very few girls get to that level. However, many compete in the "amateur" side and do very well. She is debating on if she wants to just stay in the USAG side and just get as far as she can, or if she wants to stay in the AAU rec side of it. The skills are pretty much the same, but the judging is a little more lenient in the AAU side. Also, if she stayed in USA, there are 4 levels left to compete. In AAU, she is in the highest level there is (I believe.) She could add harder skills in AAU as she learned them, but would never move up a level. It is so much to think about.
M, my youngest daughter, will be trying out for team in a couple of weeks. She is very nervous about tryouts and the thought of competing. However, she has seen the myriad of benefits that have come to her sister from it; strong body, determination, endurance, prioritization, and most of all, an extremely strong bond with other girls that become like family.
Speaking of my girls, they both participated in something besides gymnastics this year!! :-) J. is in a Christian drama group in her school. This morning, they performed for the kindergartners.
M. participated on a web-design team and they just submitted their site to be judged. This morning, the web-design team was spotlighted at the elementary morning assembly. The web-design teacher called me this morning to tell us about it. She was going on a field trip with the kids in a different grade and could not be at the assembly. She asked if M. would mind getting up at the assembly and telling the elementary what their site was about, etc. She said that M. was such a leader on the team that she wanted her to get up and be the spokesperson! I was so proud! Interestingly enough, both girls were on two different stages on campus at the exact same time.
Even though things have been really stressful for all of us this first week back to school, I have enjoyed watching my girls rise to whatever occasion occurred. They are maturing so quickly that I often get tears in my eyes. Sometimes the tears are from watching them have to struggle with hard decisions, quick changes in plans, and being disappointed. Other times, though, the tears are from joy in the way they are handling these situations as well as seeing what kind of person they are developing into.
I am such a hands-on type mom that it is a little hard sometimes to see that they (especially my teenager) are getting to where they don't NEED me quite as much. I enjoy the difference in the relationships that comes from a desire to be with me rather than the utter dependence. It has left me feeling a little bereft at times though. I know that they will always need me - but it is just in a different way now. It is more of a guidance role now rather than a director. I like being the director. I like the control. :-) I know, though, that if a relationship stays with that dynamic, there is really no growth and no reward for either party. I'm doing my best to accept it and go on.
So, those of you with kids that are older, let me know how this process evolved with you. Those of you with kids that are younger, you are free to tell me that I am a psycho and that I need therapy. ;-)
Pics will be posted soon.
Anyway, over spring break we went to my parents house. They live way out in the middle of nowhere. We let the girls each bring a friend with them. We took our 4-wheelers out there with us as well. Between our two 4-wheelers, my dad's 4-wheeler, my dad's little circus bicycle, my mom's 3-wheel bicycle, and my mom's all terrain golf-cart - the girls were riding something continuously. I will post some pictures later. Some of them are quite hilarious.
J, my oldest daughter, finally got her MRI. Guess what? She has a stress fracture in her right tibia. What fun. The doc said to try to rest it and quit trying to "work through the pain" so much. What is funny is that she is leaving on Monday for a school trip near a beach where they will be participating in many tours as well as a scavenger hunt through the town. She gets back from there on Wednesday evening. School on Thursday. Then, on Friday, a school trip to a theme park (physics lessons in a fun setting.) So, I'm not seeing much rest coming to that tired little tibia.
She is rethinking her goals for gymnastics. She doesn't think she can get to the level needed for a college scholarship in time. This has always been her goal, so it is a little hard to see her struggling right now. She has had a tough year with competing a dual season and having some injuries. She is feeling kinda down right now. I'm hoping that since competition season is almost over - one more meet - she will get time to regroup and refocus. She loves gymnastics so much and she does not want to lose it. I told her that she does not have to get a college scholarship to be a considered a successful gymnast. Very few girls get to that level. However, many compete in the "amateur" side and do very well. She is debating on if she wants to just stay in the USAG side and just get as far as she can, or if she wants to stay in the AAU rec side of it. The skills are pretty much the same, but the judging is a little more lenient in the AAU side. Also, if she stayed in USA, there are 4 levels left to compete. In AAU, she is in the highest level there is (I believe.) She could add harder skills in AAU as she learned them, but would never move up a level. It is so much to think about.
M, my youngest daughter, will be trying out for team in a couple of weeks. She is very nervous about tryouts and the thought of competing. However, she has seen the myriad of benefits that have come to her sister from it; strong body, determination, endurance, prioritization, and most of all, an extremely strong bond with other girls that become like family.
Speaking of my girls, they both participated in something besides gymnastics this year!! :-) J. is in a Christian drama group in her school. This morning, they performed for the kindergartners.
M. participated on a web-design team and they just submitted their site to be judged. This morning, the web-design team was spotlighted at the elementary morning assembly. The web-design teacher called me this morning to tell us about it. She was going on a field trip with the kids in a different grade and could not be at the assembly. She asked if M. would mind getting up at the assembly and telling the elementary what their site was about, etc. She said that M. was such a leader on the team that she wanted her to get up and be the spokesperson! I was so proud! Interestingly enough, both girls were on two different stages on campus at the exact same time.
Even though things have been really stressful for all of us this first week back to school, I have enjoyed watching my girls rise to whatever occasion occurred. They are maturing so quickly that I often get tears in my eyes. Sometimes the tears are from watching them have to struggle with hard decisions, quick changes in plans, and being disappointed. Other times, though, the tears are from joy in the way they are handling these situations as well as seeing what kind of person they are developing into.
I am such a hands-on type mom that it is a little hard sometimes to see that they (especially my teenager) are getting to where they don't NEED me quite as much. I enjoy the difference in the relationships that comes from a desire to be with me rather than the utter dependence. It has left me feeling a little bereft at times though. I know that they will always need me - but it is just in a different way now. It is more of a guidance role now rather than a director. I like being the director. I like the control. :-) I know, though, that if a relationship stays with that dynamic, there is really no growth and no reward for either party. I'm doing my best to accept it and go on.
So, those of you with kids that are older, let me know how this process evolved with you. Those of you with kids that are younger, you are free to tell me that I am a psycho and that I need therapy. ;-)
Pics will be posted soon.
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