Blessings of multi-generationalism

I have been very remiss in posting anything lately.  Mainly because I got so many awesome comments on my last entry that I knew that I could never come up with another topic that would generate such great feedback.

We just finished up a much enjoyed spring break.  It was awesome to not have to work either job for several days in a row.  As much as I enjoy both of my jobs, I enjoy my husband and kids more.  We went up to the mountains and spent a few days at the cabin.  It was warm enough to hike and play in the creek, but cool enough that there were no mosquitos or chiggers or poison ivy yet - perfect weather.

We also had Grandparents Day at school.  It is always the last day of school before spring break.  There is a special program just for the kids and grandparents, and then the kids get to leave at noon.  My hubby and I are blessed that we both adore our inlaws.  Our kids are blessed to have 3 full sets of grandparents that all get along with each other.

I have tried to make a point of making sure that my kids appreciate their grandparents.  Neither my husband nor myself have any living grandparents - and haven't for a while.  It is kind of an empty feeling.

My oldest, J., and I were talking about this while hiking at the cabin.  She had a neat way of putting it.  She said that you have your friends to be your friends, your parents to be your parents, and your grandparents are like your friendly parents.  Friends, parents, and grandparents all fill a different role and meet a different need, and none can fill the space of another.  I thought that was a neat way of looking at it.

My grandparents were awesome people and I was so blessed to know them.  In a way, they remind me of my children.  My oldest daughter, while funny and fun-loving, is a nurturer.  She is always careful of others feelings.  My maternal grandparents were the same way.  My youngest daughter, while a nurturer as well, is very up-front and no-nonsense, the same as my paternal grandparents.  While she, and they, would do anything for you, they will also let you know where you stand and did not waste time on stressing about pleasing everyone.  I think this is the best mix in the world as they balance perfectly.  You need both personalities in your life in order to make your life complete.

I think this is why my husband and I work so well together - we balance each other.  If you have two personalities that are completely alike or so completely opposite, you have nothing to use to complete each other.

Well, this was another one of my posts about nothing, so if you are still reading - congrats and thank you.

Please sign the guestbook and let me know you were here.

Never, EVER, assume! AKA - Object lesson

Everyone has heard that you should never assume anything.

I just want to give you quick proof that this is very good advice - in a purely hypothetical setting, of course.

If you assume, that once you and your children get home from dropping one of the vehicles off at a service center, that you can outrun the children to the closest bathroom, you would be wrong.

If you assume that maybe if you bring everything in from the car, that the child that made it to the closest bathroom would be done by the time you got inside, you would be wrong again.

If, when you screech out the words, 'You are still in there?' to the child in the preferred bathroom, you assume that they won't giggle at your predicament, then, you would be wrong.

If, in your panic as you realize that said child is still in the bathroom and that you will not trip running up the stairs to the next closest bathroom, you would, again, be wrong.

If, in the midst of finally getting to go to the restroom and your phone rings and the caller i.d. shows it is the daughter from the preferred bathroom, and you assume it is her calling you to gloat over getting the closest bathroom, you would, believe it or not, be mistaken.

If you ever find yourself in this predicament - please, please do NOT make that final assumption above. Because, chances are, if you answer that phone call and make a comment about 'talking while peeing' because you assumed it was your child on the other end, it could possibly be someone saying that they just found a cell phone and called the contact listed as "mom" in it to hopefully find out who it belonged to. This person could also be calling from the car service center that you just dropped the car off at. The same place you have to go BACK to in a short while.

So, you see, assumption is bad!! Purely hypothetical situation, of course.

Merry Christmas!

Please take a moment to view our animated Christmas letter below.

Make a Smilebox greeting

See, I can post a happy post. . . .

No deep and pondering thoughts this post, just some pics to let you guys get to know us a little better.

We are all a little silly and we love to have fun.

Here is M. on the podium at her state gymnastics meet last year. Don't you love the beautiful smile?

Here she is while up at the cabin

And here she is at her 5th grade graduation:

Here is a very excited M. She found a chocolate chip cookie the same size as her head:

She is not the only silly one. Here is her sister, J.

The girls together:

Unfortunately, this strangeness does not limit itself to the children:

The lazy man's way to mow grass on a very steep hill:

At the aquarium:

On your mark:

Get set:

GO!!

We also like to take silly pictures of things other than each other.

A tiny froggy that M. found:

M.'s hair curling in the humidity:

Apparently silliness is contagious. Here is our BB curling up with the bear skin rug at the cabin:

And poor BB trying to figure out how she is going to sleep with those two hooligans sleeping under her:

So, I know this was not a very exciting post, but my last several posts have been so serious and verbose, so just wanted to lighten things up some.

Hope you enjoyed the pics.

As always, let me know you were here.

Teenage epiphany

To clarify at the beginning, this is an epiphany that my teenage daughter had. NOT an epiphany that I had about teenagers. I'm still waiting on that to happen.



As you saw in my last post, J. was baptized earlier this month. Before that, she obviously had been doing a lot of thinking. One night, she came to me and said this:



'You know that phrase that you hear people say - "God is Love?' (I John 4:8) Well, you hear it a lot but don't ever think about it. If you do, it is kind of hard to make that phrase make sense. So I started thinking about it. Then I thought of that passage in the bible that says "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." (I Corinthians 13) If God is love, then you could say that God equals love. So, you could go through this passage and replace the word "love" with "God." That would make the "God is love" phrase make a lot more sense. '



I was blown away! I had never thought of this in this fashion before. It got me to thinking more about it.



Here is how that passage would read with the replacements made:

GOD is patient

GOD is kind

[GOD] does not envy

[GOD] does not boast

[GOD] is not proud

[GOD] is not rude

[GOD] is not self-seeking

[GOD] is not easily angered

[GOD] keeps no record of wrongs

GOD does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth

[GOD] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
GOD never fails



That is powerful stuff in my opinion.



If you look at this passage in The Message translation, the sentence that precedes the passages states, "So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love." Again, if you replace love with "God," it is right on target again.



This has been floating around in my head for the last couple of weeks since she said it. It has really got me thinking. I wonder if this thought went through the authors head when he wrote these words?



Irregardless, it got my teenagers thought processes going in an awesome direction - there are a LOT worse things that she could be thinking about!



Thank you for stopping by and reading.



I do want to ask 2 favors from you:



1) Please visit my friends on the right sidebar over there. Many of them are going through a lot right now and some kind words would go a long way. Just don't leave me for them. They are much more talented writers than I am and lead much more exciting lives than I do. You will enjoy their sites more than mine, I promise. But remember how insecure I am and still come back and visit me, please??????



2) Leave me a comment and let me know you were here. You don't have to say anything other than "I was here." I just like to know I am not alone. Plus, it helps my insecurity issues when I look at my blog and see that I have comments posted. :-)

Dinner with royalty and more roller coasters

Last weekend was quite amazing - I got to do something really cool! I got to have dinner with royalty! The Sarah Smith crew were in town picking their son up from the airport, and several of us fellow Sarah followers met them for dinner. It was so much fun! Besides myself and the Smith's, Pam D and Vicki were there. I took my 2 girls and they chatted with Sarah the whole time. Sarah is right in the middle age wise of my girls. Pam and I discovered that not only are we from the same home town, we are from the same denomination of church. She actually goes to church with M.'s teacher! Vicki brought her 2 adorable little boys. They were so well behaved, and so so so cute! It was kind of weird in that we all knew so much about Sarah and her family, yet we had never met each other face to face. The restaurant was very nice to us and was quite interested in the whole situation. If you click on Sarah and Pam's names above where they are highlighted, you can read their version of the night. Since they are much better writers than I am, you will be much more entertained there than you are here, I promise.

Here are some pictures from that night:

Sarah and the adorable guard dog, Snowy:

The 3 blogging ladies, Pam D, Becky Smith, and myself:

J., Sarah, and M.

The whole gang, starting at the left and going around: Steve Smith, Pam D., myself, M., J, Sarah Smith, Becky Smith, Vicki, her beautiful boys and her husband, whose name escapes me at the moment.

Becky's son Nathan called to let her know his ETA back in the states. Notice the smile and the eyes glowing:

How cute is this little guy?

Sarah trying her first fried pickles. She is being quite brave here because she does not like pickles.

The men pretty much had their own conversation going:

Bravely trying an olive for the first time:

Knowing we were meeting in downtown, we were a little nervous as to what kind of restaurant we would end up with, but it proved to be quite nice:

Even if the decorations hanging from the ceiling were a little, um, strange. These were hanging right above the girls' heads. They kept looking up uncertainly, hoping they would stay suspended and not come crashing down on their heads.

Sunday brought a whole new set of emotions as the kids at church were told that their youth ministers are leaving. There were so many tears and so much anger. I worry over how the kids will get past this. So many of them have deep relationships with one of the youth ministers or with the other, or both. It is hard to understand emotionally. However, the leaders felt this was best for the kids as a whole. While I trust our elders, as I stated earlier, I wish all would have been handled a little differently. Hindsight is truly 20/20. We must remember to keep our focus on God and on continuing the legacy started by our youth ministers. Now is the time to start healing and start looking forward.

Also, during this past week, another friend of ours, Kristie, got some horrible news about her husband and his ongoing battle with cancer. This family has been dealt a "crap sandwich," as they put it, over and over again. Please go visit them and leave them some words of encouragement.

This weekend found quite a bit of snow in our area. We actually had a snow day today! The funny thing is that the temperature for this coming Saturday is supposed to be 70 degrees. Go figure.

Here a few snow pics:

So, this post was quite a potpourri of topics. Hope you stuck with it and weren't too bored.

Thank you for stopping by.

Let me know you were here.

I thought that I liked roller coasters . . . .

As I have stated before, comparing life to a roller coaster ride is quite an accurate analogy. The nervousness and tenseness over what is coming, the fear as it gets closer, the desire to turn around and get off as you crest, the terror and thrill as you plummet, the amazement that you survived after the descent, the wonderment if you can handle it again as a new climb begins, and finally, exultation at the end that you survived it and could survive it again.



This past week has been one of those roller coaster rides. There were so many emotions that were experienced this week that it has left us a little dazed.



We had 3 gymnastics meets this weekend. (Don't worry, the whole post isn't about gymnastics.) The team that I coach had their very first meet ever. This was also my first meet as a team coach. I was nervous for myself and each of my 15 girls. However, they all did such an amazing job and came in 2nd place as a team! Woo-hoo! My own daughters each competed this weekend as well. M. scored a 9.5 on vault! It was a beautiful vault. She also brought her all around score up by around 2 points from her first meet. (When scores are measured by tenths of points, a 2 point change is quite an improvement.) Her team came in second place as well. Their team score came up by about 5 points from their last meet, which is incredible. J. scored her highest all-around score ever! Her team came in first place, by about 5 points. So, all in all, an incredible weekend gymnastics wise.



However, in the midst of all of this, we got hit with several not so wonderful things. I really cannot go into much detail of the exact circumstance. Even if I did so, it would not do an accurate job conveying the emotions involved. I can say that it struck our foundation really hard. I will try to use a hypothetical situation to help everyone understand. Think of something that is a vital part of your life or someone in your immediate family's life. It could be a job, school, church, a group of friends, a support group, or something like that. Now, imagine that you all of a sudden found out that it was no longer going to be the same. Imagine that it was going to change so drastically that it scared you. If it is your job that you are thinking of, imagine if someone in headquarters was going to revamp your whole department, and your favorite boss or mentor was no longer going to be there. Granted, there are reasons for this decision, whether you agree with them or not. However, you struggle because the people making the decision are basing their decision on what they feel is best for a department that they are not a part of. If you work in the department, you will see this decision completely differently than those that are not as emotionally involved. You also know how the news will be received by those affected. You know that it should have been handled differently. They know it too, but they realized it too late.



You know that there had to be a legitimate reason for the decision. You have to trust that those in charge know what they are doing. You have to have faith that they are looking out for those they are leading. You have to accept what has happened, maybe not quietly, but you have to accept it. You have to. Or else you will self destruct. You have to believe that the entity that is such a strong part of your life will still be there for you. You have to realize that those involved are humans, and that you must have grace.



The hard part is watching your child cry herself to sleep at night. It is hard watching her friends cry. It is hard to see them go through so much inner turmoil - more than they normally go through. It is hard seeing the fear in your child's eyes because they don't know what is going to happen next. It is hard to explain to them that there may be something good that comes from this. It is hard to know that they feel unimportant. It is just hard.



I am at the point on the roller coaster ride where I want to get off. This isn't fun anymore. I want to go back to 2 weeks ago when my kids were happy. When they felt important and loved. When they felt like their opinions mattered to others. However, I know that this isn't possible.



I know that all decisions cannot be based on what we want. I know that these things happen and I cannot change them. I also know at the end, when this ride is over, I will feel exultant to have survived, as will my children. I will feel a little better prepared for the next ride. I am starting to see some of the "good" already. I see my oldest daughter deciding to step up and be a leader to help some of the other kids who are upset and scared. She and several of her other friends talked and decided to step up together to help with this. I see other teenagers so affected by emotion that I know they will never be the same. They will be more approachable and more appreciative. I believe this will force some of the kids affected to take more control of themselves. I wonder if some of them may have gotten too dependant or too comfortable in their comfort zone. This may open some of their eyes to the fact that they alone control their lives. I see people showing passion that before were kind of lackadaisical. Passion, whether positive or negative, is much more effective than nonchalance. Passion shows care. Used properly, it can be a very powerful tool. I see more parents becoming involved. I see leaders realizing that decisions on paper and decisions in real life are two different things.



So, am I happy about these events? No, absolutely not.

Do I think that it is what is best? For my family, no, definitely not. As a whole? I'm not sure yet.

Do I think good can come out of this? Yes

Am I scared of the changes? No. I am terrified.

Do I trust those that made the decision? Yes

Am I a barrel of contradictions? Yes and no. :-)

Do I believe that God will help guide us through? Oh yes!



So, if you have read to the end, kudos to you. It probably makes no sense whatsoever. I just needed to get it all out.



Thank you for listening. I would love to hear how any of you have dealt with unforeseen life-altering events. I want it all - the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Challenges - For Me AND For You

** As always, my posts are wordy. Sorry. If you just want to see the challenge I am issuing to YOU - scroll down and look for the next set of asterisks. **

Here it is the week of my last birthday in my 30’s. As is every birthday, it causes me to reflect on where I am, where I've been, and where I want to be.
I have decided that I am going to show the depression monster that would normally show up at a time like this that I, indeed, am stronger than it is through Christ which strengthens me.


I could focus on the fact that we always seem to be short on money, but instead, I choose to focus on the fact that we always seem to have enough to cover our needs. We may not get paid a lot at any of our jobs, but we have 3 jobs between the two of us when there are those out there that do not know if they will have a job tomorrow. Our girls have learned to differentiate between needs and wants through us having to really think through our purchases.


I could focus on the fact that our girls’ school and gymnastics tuition is a stretch to cover. I choose to focus on the fact that we are blessed enough that I am able to work at both the school and the gym to help offset those bills. This also allows me an insight to my daughters’ lives that most parents don’t have the privilege of seeing. I get to see my daughters at any time of the day if I need to. I see their friends and know their teachers and coaches.


I could lament the fact that we do not have much family time together due to our gym schedule. However, I choose to see that my family is strong enough to survive the hectic schedule that we have. I rejoice in the fact that both of my daughters love the same sport and that we don’t have different sports for different seasons. Our schedule stays the same for the entire school year. I love the fact that because my kids put a lot of time into their sport, that they appreciate hard work and discipline. They have learned to be good sports and have developed an intense work ethic. Not many kids can put in the hours that they do and still have the grades that they do. They are more discerning about what they do with their free time since they have so little of it. They still enjoy spending time with the rest of the family because it is such a novelty.


It does make me sad that I don’t get to see the rest of my family more than I do. But, I have 2 parents that have been married for almost 50 years. I have a sister that has devoted her life to being a good mom, sister, aunt, and grand-ma. She works gazillions of hours without ever taking a day off so that she can take care of whatever is needed. She has 3 kids who are all very different, but all very wonderful. I know that they all love me and my kids and hope that they know that we love all of them very much. I have great in-laws that I get along with. I have a husband who loves his in-laws and who is loved by them. We are blessed to have that.


I could be sad about getting older, but I am rejoicing that I am still alive and healthy.


I could be sad that I/we still don’t “have it together” like I envisioned 10 years ago, but I am rejoicing that we have provided a loving, stable family for our girls and that our marriage is still going strong.


** So, my challenge for you is this: I want you to sign the guestbook and tell me either some bits of wisdom you have learned over the years, your favorite birthday present or your favorite birthday memory, or something that you are thankful for that may not at first have seemed like a blessing. My birthday present for myself will be to see how many comments that I can get from you guys answering these questions. I don’t want birthday wishes for myself, but insight into you guys out there and hopefully to gain some wisdom for myself. **


Thank you for stopping by and reading my always wordy posts.

I can't believe it happened . . . .

Alas! Woe is me! You will never guess what has happened in the very short time frame of 2 ½ weeks. I became spoiled. Life will never be the same again. I will long for the the “spoiling era” for weeks to come. For months. For years.

Let me explain. For those of you that know me personally, this will not be news to you, but look below at my normal weekly schedule when it is NOT Christmas break:)

Monday


6:00 a.m. – wake up
7:00 a.m. – leave for work/school
7:30 a.m. – arrive at work/school – work straight through until 3:05
3:10 p.m. – leave to come home
3:30 p.m. – arrive home
3:30 – 4:10 p.m. – eat dinner, change clothes, check homework that was done in the car, and leave for gymnastics (coaching for me, practice for the girls)
4:20 p.m. – clock in at the gym
4:30 p.m. – 8:00 – coach
8:00 – 9:00p.m. – wait on daughter to get done with practice
9:30 p.m. – whenever - arrive home, grade more homework, clean up dinner dishes from earlier, do a load of laundry, say hi to hubby. Go to bed



Tuesday – Friday


Lather, rinse, repeat with only slight changes of a half hour or so here or there



Saturday


7:45 – take J. to gym
10:00 – clock in at gym
12:45 – clock out at gym
1:30 – leave gym with J.
2:00 – get home and eat lunch, enjoying the fact that Hubby and M. did all the grocery shopping
Then, there are several hours of housework, homework, etc.
That evening, I work on the Sunday school lesson that I will be teaching the next morning.




Sunday


8:00 – leave for church
9:45 – teach Sunday school class
Lunch, errands, etc.
5:30 – leave for small groups
6:00 – 7:00 – small groups
7:30 – home, dinner, bags ready for school, etc.
8:30 – panick because I got nothing done this week



Well, since school has been out, here has been my schedule for the last 2 weeks:


Monday – Saturday
Sleep in
Eat late breakfast
Eat lunch
Take a nap
Eat dinner that was cooked by husband (he took 2 weeks off as well.)
Watch a movie or play a game
Go to bed
I coached occasionally during the break, but not near as many hours as normal. Sunday school classes were on break during the holidays as well, so I did not need to prepare a lesson for a few weeks.

Needless to say, I probably gained 850 pounds due to cruddy eating habits and zero activity. And I loved every minute of it. Now I’m back to both jobs. And I miss my cozy couch, squishy pillow, and snuggly blanket. Sniff sniff.

Leave me a comment and let me know how your break was, or if you had one. If you did not get a break, what would you do if you did have 2 weeks off?



Reminder:
(I am not sure if my notifications have worked for my last couple of updates because I would start my updates one day and finish them the next. I think the date would throw the notifier thingy off. So be sure to scroll down and read the last couple of posts. Then, at the end of the post, click on "comments" and let me know you were here. If you do not have a google account, click "anonymous" in the comments section, but be sure to sign your name after your comment. )

Our Christmas Letter

Here is a de-personalized version of our Christmas letter. Hope you all enjoy.

(BY THE WAY - I am not sure if my notifications have worked for my last couple of updates because I would start my updates one day and finish them the next. I think the date would throw the notifier thingy off. So be sure to scroll down and read the last couple of posts. Then, at the end of the post, click on "comments" and let me know you were here. If you do not have a google account, click "anonymous" in the comments section, but be sure to sign your name after your comment. )


2008 Christmas Letter

We hope this letter finds you all in good health and good spirits.

This year was a great year for our family. As the country headed towards a depression and the economy suffered greatly, we made a point of looking for blessings wherever we could.

C. is still employed at the same company. He received a nice promotion this year and is the head I.T. guy for his own company as well as 2 sister companies. While this entails more work, it also ensures more stability for the company. He also is the leader of our Sunday school class at church.

P. is still working at the girls' school in the technology department. She is also still coaching gymnastics at the girls' gym. Besides coaching preschool and rec classes, she now helps coach the level 3 team. She is loving getting to be with some team girls. She also teaches a group of 7th and 8th grade girls on Sunday mornings.

J. is still competing in gymnastics. She is an optional gymnast and has “La Bamba” as her floor music. She had an injury earlier this year (stress fracture in her shin) that slowed up some of her tumbling work, but she has worked hard to keep up and stay in shape. Her first meet is in January. She is a freshman this year and is doing well in school. She received her learners permit and is helping do some of the driving now.

M. is on level 4 in gymnastics. That makes 2 competitive gymnasts in the family! We cannot wait for her first meet in January. She is in 5th grade at school and is doing wonderfully. She also decided to get baptized for her 11th birthday. That was such a wonderful day!

Between the 3 females in the house having team hours, there is at least one of us at the gym 6 days a week. That makes it difficult sometimes to have family time, but we squeeze in what we can whenever we can. We always make a point of trying to have a lot of fun together whenever we can. We got to spend some time at the cabin this year and go camping as well.

We love you all and hope that you all have a wonderful year.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Getting to know my youngest - or Living with ADHD

ADHD. You hear so much about it. You see kids diagnosed with it and think that they need just a good swift spanking. You see kids NOT diagnosed with it and wonder why they aren’t.


We used to think that all it meant was that a kid was hyper and did not focus. We were wrong.

We have a child with ADHD. M. was diagnosed in 2nd grade after an intense and expensive psychological education evaluation. Apparently, it manifests itself very differently in little girls than it does little boys. Boys tend to be on the hyper/aggressive end and girls tend to be on the lack of focus/depression end. (Not always the case, though.)

Since then, it has been quite a ride. The analogy of a “roller coaster ride,” while cliché, is actually quite accurate.

We have learned so much about not only this diagnosis, but also about our wonderful daughter and ourselves as well. (Her dad and I think we both may have ADHD as well.)
In looking back, there were many things that we thought were just her unique little quirks. While it is sometimes hard to differentiate between what is a quirk and what is being ADHD, it is easy to see that her brain just works “differently” than our other daughter’s brain.
As a toddler, she would find loopholes in any rule that you came up with. She would follow our instructions to the letter, but would still find an alternative way to accomplish what she wanted. For example, we kept finding her sitting on the kitchen table. We did not do much at first, we figured she would lose interest after the first couple of times after we would remover her. Not so. Finally, we sat her down and told her that “we do NOT sit on tables, we sit in chairs.” We thought that we had that taken care of. We came in later and found her on the table. However, she had dragged her little chair up onto the table and was sitting in the chair that was placed right in the middle of the tabletop. When asked what she was doing, she clarified for us that she ‘was NOT sittin’ on da table. I sittin’ in my chaiw.’ (sic.) We had a similar situation with writing on the wall. We thought we had learned to be more specific in our instructions when we stated that we do not write on the wall with pencils, pens, markers, or crayons. We forgot to mention stamps. We learned that using stamps on the wall is not covered by the “No Writing” rule. “Keep your hands off of that” does not cover the use of your feet, elbows, or tongue to touch things.
In Kindergarten, she had to write down someone that she admired. She wrote down “Andrew” from her class. When I asked her what she admired about Andrew, she said that he could sit still in class and not talk. For a long time. And she thought that was amazing.
Not all of it has been fun. At least not at the time. Some of it now is quite comical. Right around the time she was diagnosed, I had the following situation happen at my house. It was morning and we were trying to get ready for school. A friend’s son, E, rode with us in the morning. E was later diagnosed with ADHD as well. So I had 2 ADHD kids to try to get out the door. Here is a copy of an email that I typed to a friend and ADHD advocate regarding that morning:


Okay – here are some phrases that were uttered by me this morning in my attempt to get everyone here this morning. My goal was to get everyone here in one piece, go over “borrowing and carrying” with M. for a minute, and stagger her medicine. Small and seemingly easily attainable goals.
“M., I printed out a few math problems for you to make sure you remember how to borrow, do them real quick and let’s make sure.”
“E., could you please quit singing to the turtles?”
“M., show me how you did this problem because it is not right.”
“E., could you sing to the turtles in your head?”
“M., this is still not right. Let’s go over how to do these again.”
“E., singing in your head means to do it so no one else can hear it.”
“M., you cannot just try to do these problems in your head; you have to write them out.”
“M., you must write out EACH problem, not just the one I said to write out earlier.”
“M., you cannot decide to randomly reverse the numbers because you don’t feel like borrowing.”
“M., you need to WRITE OUT the problems.
“E., could you stop kicking the chair?”
“M., when you borrow, you do it the same way every time.”
“M., when you borrow, you borrow from the next number to the left, not the number 2 spaces away, you know, just like we did on the previous 9 problems?????”
“No, M., I don’t know where your bag is.”
“M., those shoes are wet because I washed them; you must wear your other shoes.”
“M., THOSE SHOES ARE WET – YOU MUST WEAR YOUR OTHER ONES.”
“I don’t care if you don’t like those shoes – YOUR OTHER ONES ARE WET!!
“Why are you smelling those shoes? THEY ARE WET –WEAR YOUR OTHER ONES!!”
“M., why are you drawing smiley faces on your paper? Is that helping get your math done?”
“E., the cat is not going to answer your questions, even if you follow him through the house asking him over and over and over.”
“M., Mrs. Jones is going to break you all up into smaller groups during the timed part of the test so that it will be less distracting, probably into a different room.” “No, everyone is not testing at different times; during the timed part of the test, you all will be spread out a little more.” “No, the whole class will not be moving to a different room – how would that help?” “Ok – let’s try this again, during – testing, - - SOME of you will go to a different room.” “NO – NOT LESS TEST WITH MORE TIME – JUST SPREADING OUT SO THAT IT WILL BE LESS DISTRACTING.!!”
“M., bring me your medicine. ONLY bring it to me – don’t open it.”
“M., what are you doing? Why are you opening your medicine? I said specifically to NOT open it.”
“E., what are you doing? Please don’t play with those scissor things in M.’s open medicine bottle.”
“M., STOP trying to do those math problems in your head – WRITE THEM OUT!!!”
“How can 706 minus 700 be 124?” “No it can’t” “What do you mean that is the answer to the next problem? What about this problem?” “It does not matter that you could do this one in your head, you STILL need to work it out and tell me the answer, I do not have X-ray vision and know that you are jumping around from math problem to math problem.”

This was one of those days where I felt like I was that man in that episode of the twilight zone where he wakes up one morning and everyone is speaking a different language than him and they are all looking at him with pity because obviously something is wrong with him and he does not know how to communicate with anyone and he spends the rest of the show trying to rapidly learn the language they are speaking so that he is not locked away. AAHHHH.


Then, there were days where my heart would break for her. Here is another email to the same advocate and friend from above:

I just needed to vent to someone who would understand.
I love my adhd child,
I love my adhd child,
I love my adhd child.

I needed to remind myself a few times in order to not have any laying on of hands (around the neck.)

When she tells me that she knows that I hate her, I love her.
When she cries and yells at me because she forgot her homework, I love her.
When she tells me that she is a failure, I love her.
When she writes mean things in her handwriting book because she is angry at having to do handwriting, I love her.
When she says that she is the least important person in the family, I love her.
When she is screaming and crying about things that happened a year ago, I love her.
When I sit here with tears running down my face at what she must be feeling, I love her more.

She has really struggled with feeling like she is a worthy person because she cannot get her mind to do what she wants it to do.

We have gotten now to where we can have fun with it and enjoy to fun and exciting part of ADHD. The spontaneity had driven her to occasionally go throw in a load of laundry just because it was needed. The hyperfocus has made her into a wonderful reader – she had read all of the Harry Potter books by 4th grade. She can figure out strange and difficult math problems in her head. The verbal acuity she has helps her to come up with great stories as well as the ability to create wonderful analogies to explain how she is feeling. Her “thinking outside the box” process has made her incredibly adept at technological things. She figured out how to send and receive emails via the wii. She found out how to set up filters and signatures on her email by herself. She does power-points for fun. The feelings of failure she has had in the past make her a very caring person. She loves people no matter what they look like or act like. She is a true friend to those in need. The larger-than-life emotions that used to focus on what she perceived as her shortcomings now focus (most of the time) into showing love for her family and friends. This extends to her sister’s friends as well. They love M. like she was their own and she loves them right back.

She now knows her struggles and tries to find ways to work with them. Recently, Becky, who lives in our basement, went out of town for a few days. M. was in charge of feeding Becky’s cats. Knowing that she is forgetful, she took the initiative to leave just a few reminders for herself around the house. (As per normal for ADD kids - the goal was the note itself, not the spelling or grammer.)


Hanging on the wall going upstairs to her bedroom:




On a table at the bottom of the stairs:





On a napkin at her place at the table:




On the milk:




On the peanut butter jar:





On the chin up bar that she must hang on every time she passes it:





This doesn't include the notes that she left that I could not get good pictures of - the bathroom mirror, on the door, on the loaf of bread, etc.







All things considered, I would not wish for M. to not have ADHD. I think it makes her who she is, it gives her that little something extra. It helps her to stand out from the crowd. I would not wish her the pain and grief that she has experienced to go away either. I believe those hardships have helped mold her into the caring and loving girl that she is now. We are all products of our circumstances, our choices, our experiences. The tough times that she has survived have made her into a stronger person than she would have ever been without them. I think she is a really neat person and I love her dearly.

Thanksgiving

We went to my parent's house for Thanksgiving. We took with us our Becky from the basement and her mom. Hubby's dad and step-mom met us there. They brought with them a friend from Saudi Arabia - Jamie. My niece and her daughter were there as well. The only way it could have been better would have been if my sister had been feeling well and had been able to come, and if my two nephews would have been there.

Here are some pictures:

Me and my parents:




Becky and her mom:

Becky and the moms:

The moms:

Remember a few posts back when I posted pics of my fam with Hubby's side of the family and the attempts at getting a good picture? Apparently, the goofiness does not reside only on Hubby's side of the family:

My parents look fine in this one, but M. looks like she is asleep and J. is making some strange face and sticking her tongue out:

Now, all looks good, except M. looks like she is choking:

Again, everyone else looks good, and M. is making another face. She looks like she just won the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes. Or told that she can eat again.

This is M's "I'm really not making this difficult, honest" face:

My dad threatening M. My mom praying. J. getting a kick out of the whole thing:

This one is actually a good one of M, but now J's eyes are closed and my mom is checking on M. to make sure she is behaving. What would make her think otherwise??

My dad deciding he would take matters into his own hands. Literally. My mom praying that this will all be over soon.

M. sheepishly posing somewhat correctly.

Apparently, this picture taking challenge occurs even when my children are not in the picture:

'No, I am tired of taking pictures!'

We did finally get a great shot: Grandmother, Grand-daughter, and Great-granddaughter:

Hubby and his dad:

After eating, we went out and played some on the golf cart and 4-wheelers:

Becky and M:

J:

J. honing her driving skills:

Hubby telling me to put the camera away:

The 3 littles all snuggled up on the couch.

It did not take long for the silliness to start:

After eating and playing, we all got lazy on the couch:

Soon, the fake sleeping gave way to real sleeping:

Feeling refreshed!

I think I have decided that the goofiness originated in the male DNA:

That brown thing the dads are playing with was something my dad bought. It looks like a vase, but then it will stretch out and make a hat. I tried to do a movie from the pics of M. putting it on her head, not sure if it will work or not. If it doesn't play - you may need to manually drag the play bar across the bottom slowly.

When we got home, we decided to do Christmas decorations:

Ginger the cat was a big help:



I am working on a "wordy" blog entry next. It will have some pictures, but not as many as this. I always get more comments on those, so I am looking forward to that.

While you are here, check out this other blog entry (Dec. 11th) that Kristie alerted me to. (Pardon any offensive language, I did not write it.) Then, after you read it, come back here and leave me a comment.

Love you all and thanks for stopping by.